If you've been married for any length of time you've probably realized that your prince charming can sometimes become a frog! I say this because no matter how wonderful your husband is, he won't always meet your expectations as you thought he would.
But don't worry, we all go through this eye-opening experience at some point in our marriage.
You know, the time when you find out that marriage is not as glamorous as you once thought it would be.
Now don't get me wrong, after 15 years of marriage, I can still say that I'm in love with my husband and we've overcome our struggles, including foreclosure, his prostate cancer diagnosis at the age of 41, and many bouts with unemployment, to name a few.
Along this journey we called marriage, we're often hit with life's obstacles.
While we often have no control over what happens, we can make a decision on how we respond to tough times.
I must admit that while I have made some wise decisions, I have often made a ton of mistakes.
Many of them could have been avoided, but now I would say they were all a part of my growing pains as a wife.
Now that I'm in a different place in my life, I'd like to share with you 5 mistakes to avoid in your Christian marriage that could help you to strengthen your marriage and even save it! 1) Throwing Money Out of the Window.
Money is a very sensitive subject in many marriages.
And because of this, many women often avoid the conversation altogether.
But in the long run, you'll have to address money, especially if kids are involved.
I suggest writing out a list of the bills with the monthly balances and total balances so your husband will see your expenses in writing.
Men like to see things in writing and this way, it may not seem like you're nagging when you try to discuss the topic of money with him.
2) Listening to the Wrong Voices.
There are so many people who will give you unsolicited advice on your marriage.
But it's important to listen to the right voices.
The main source of our marriage advice should come from the Bible.
In addition, as a Christian woman, you have the voice of God in the form of the Holy Spirit who will speak to you when you're willing to take time to listen.
In some cases I also think it's good and necessary to connect with other Christian women who can listen to your heart and offer sound advice.
3) Flirting with Insecurity.
Men don't enjoy dealing with insecure women.
It puts them under pressure because they have to work so hard to make an insecure woman feel good about herself.
In addition, insecurity can eat away at your marriage and cause you to find fault when no one is actually guilty.
Often insecurity comes from childhood issues that haven't been dealt with, maybe as a result of teasing, abandonment, abuse, etc.
I've struggled with this.
But what helped me was when I finally learned who I was in Christ and truly understood His undying love for me.
I read a lot of books and studied a lot of Scriptures until I became rooted in the love of Christ for me.
I've grown in this area and my husband has been patient with me.
These things have given me victory.
4) Mental Adultery - So many people fail to realize that there is more than one type of adultery.
Mental adultery is when you daydream or fantasize about someone other than your husband.
Often this occurs when you're unhappy or lonely in your marriage because of hurt or disappointment with your husband.
Your mind goes on a trip...
with another man and you really can deceive yourself into believing that some other man can meet the needs that your husband can't.
The problem is, you're living an illusion.
Many of our needs will never be met by another human being.
There are some things that only Christ can meet.
5) Emotional Adultery - This takes mental adultery to the next level and it's the stage right before a full-blown physical affair.
Emotional adultery is when you begin to share your heart with another man because you don't think your husband can meet your needs.
As women we want to get things off our chest and that's okay.
If you can't do this with your husband, may I suggest you find a trusted female friend who can lend a listening ear? While most of us enter into marriage with high, lofty expectations we quickly realize that they won't all be met by the men we marry.
The key is to look at what we can do to change ourselves by avoiding the mistakes that are so common to us as married women.
And when we've done our parts to overcome these obstacles and change ourselves, we can embrace our husbands and appreciate them for who they are instead of trying to make them into something they were never intended to be.