Relationship Help - The Secret To A Loving Intimate Relationship
I was reading in a book the other day, and it said that the majority of relationships fail due to selfishness. Thinking on that for a moment, I realised that the root of all marriage difficulties could be traced back to that one human flaw - thinking of oneself only.
Do not get me wrong, you do need to think of yourself in that you have enough resources within you to give to yourself and others, but, you also need to think of others in that same way. As much time and consideration as you give yourself, you also need to give to those around you.
When I was much younger, in my late teens in fact, I fell head over heels with THE most gorgeous guy... well, we were soulmates from the get-go! The world was our oyster, time stood still and we had a life of endless possibilities ahead of us.
We thought we knew it all and that we had everything... we did not have lots of things, but we had a love that transcended all of that.
There was, however, one fly in the ointment...
My love was young as I was, and he liked to keep things private... he had left a large family and he could now choose what he shared and with whom, and he relished being able to keep things, thoughts, feelings private.
I also had come from a large family, and my comfort was in sharing things with others. I was very uncomfortable about being on my own, and not knowing what was going on with my mate. All the insecurities of the young was laid on our shoulders, and we could not share our thoughts and feelings with each other - verbally. No problems with the physical communication, but you can not build a relationship on that alone.
Selfishness was at the root of our unenviable situation, and imaginations were let loose.
We could not talk with each other about the things that really mattered to the two of us and as a result we eventually went our separate ways through a crippling amount of pain and heartache.
There is a surprise ending to this story... we met again after about 25 years of going our separate ways... still in love, not ever having stopped loving each other, or maybe, loving the idea of being in love with each other.
After living our lives in other relationships that also did not work out, we finally got back together... older, wiser, more prepared to work on our relationship, both realising commitment, communication and a selflessness toward each other were what would make this new stage of our relationship work.
And it has.
Thirty and a half years after we first met, we were finally married, and now we live comfortably with ourselves and each other, learning each day to build our loving intimate relationship based on caring as much about the other as we do about ourselves.
We share more - verbally, time, and space, and it is good.
Learning how to give into a relationship takes time, effort and know-how. If you are struggling with making your relationship work, or, you have just found yourself 'out in the cold' because your love has just left you, you can get help to get back together or put that spark back into your love and grow it again. All is not lost! It may take some time but it will be worth it!
Do not get me wrong, you do need to think of yourself in that you have enough resources within you to give to yourself and others, but, you also need to think of others in that same way. As much time and consideration as you give yourself, you also need to give to those around you.
When I was much younger, in my late teens in fact, I fell head over heels with THE most gorgeous guy... well, we were soulmates from the get-go! The world was our oyster, time stood still and we had a life of endless possibilities ahead of us.
We thought we knew it all and that we had everything... we did not have lots of things, but we had a love that transcended all of that.
There was, however, one fly in the ointment...
My love was young as I was, and he liked to keep things private... he had left a large family and he could now choose what he shared and with whom, and he relished being able to keep things, thoughts, feelings private.
I also had come from a large family, and my comfort was in sharing things with others. I was very uncomfortable about being on my own, and not knowing what was going on with my mate. All the insecurities of the young was laid on our shoulders, and we could not share our thoughts and feelings with each other - verbally. No problems with the physical communication, but you can not build a relationship on that alone.
Selfishness was at the root of our unenviable situation, and imaginations were let loose.
We could not talk with each other about the things that really mattered to the two of us and as a result we eventually went our separate ways through a crippling amount of pain and heartache.
There is a surprise ending to this story... we met again after about 25 years of going our separate ways... still in love, not ever having stopped loving each other, or maybe, loving the idea of being in love with each other.
After living our lives in other relationships that also did not work out, we finally got back together... older, wiser, more prepared to work on our relationship, both realising commitment, communication and a selflessness toward each other were what would make this new stage of our relationship work.
And it has.
Thirty and a half years after we first met, we were finally married, and now we live comfortably with ourselves and each other, learning each day to build our loving intimate relationship based on caring as much about the other as we do about ourselves.
We share more - verbally, time, and space, and it is good.
Learning how to give into a relationship takes time, effort and know-how. If you are struggling with making your relationship work, or, you have just found yourself 'out in the cold' because your love has just left you, you can get help to get back together or put that spark back into your love and grow it again. All is not lost! It may take some time but it will be worth it!
Source...