The Process of Coming Out

 

Coming out, or openly declaring that you are gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender is a big step for a teen and while you might have known that you were LGBT for a long time, in many cases, it will big news for the people you choose to tell. 

And - despite they way the media may make it seem, coming out usually isn't just a one time thing. More often is a process. First you tell some people you are close to.

Then maybe you tell some more people. Then you tell someone you just met.  You get the picture!

 

Coming out: Is it for me?

Though coming out can be an amazing experience, it is important to think about your reasons for coming out before taking the plunge. Coming out at any age can be challenging, but because teens tend to live with their families, there are a few unique issues young people need to think about. Ask yourself:

• Will coming out jeopardize my situation at home?
• Is it safe, physically and emotionally, for me to come out to my parents?
• Do I have resources available (both emotional and financial) if coming out changes my situation at home?

Once you have thought through these questions, you might want to think about your reasons for coming out.

Here are some good reasons to come out:

• You feel confident in your sexual orientation or gender identity.
• You feel like you have the support of family and / or friends.
• You are confident that coming out will help you grow and make you feel better about yourself as a person.

• You feel like the positives outweigh the negatives, and that you can handle possible negative reactions from friends and family.

Here are some not so good reasons to come out:

• A friend or partner is pressuring you to come out.
• You feel like you are lying to people if you don't.
• You feel like coming out will make you feel legitimately LGB or T.
• You think coming out will make you feel more grown-up.
• You're mad at your parents and want to upset them.

 

Pressure to Come Out

Although choosing to come out is very personal, some teens feel pressure to come out.

Well-meaning friends, partners, and even out celebrities can make you feel like you need to announce you sexual orientation tor gender identity to the world--even if you don't think you are ready to do so.

In the End, it is Up to You

If you think your reasons are good ones, you might decide that you are ready to come out. If not, it might seem like a better idea to hold off. Whatever you decide, make sure you have support. Teens coming out tend to have better experiences if they have someone they can rely on for help and understanding.