How to Help Your Man With His Emotions
- 1). Tell him you think it's perfectly alright for him to feel his feelings, even if he doesn't think it's alright. Many men are raised to believe that manhood is defined by how thoroughly they ignore their emotions. Let your man know you don't think he's any less of a man because he expresses his feelings.
- 2). Instruct your man to center his thoughts on his body when emotions arise. Ask him what sensations he notices. Perhaps he feels a tightness in his throat or chest, or tension in his shoulders. Other sensations might include burning eyes, headache or nausea.
- 3). Tell your man to notice exactly what he's experiencing when his emotions spike. Maybe his heart begins beating fast when he opens the light bill, or he feels sick to his stomach when you take a call from your ex-boyfriend. Perhaps his heart clenches when his mother is admitted to the hospital for a recurring condition.
- 4). Help your man pay attention to his thoughts about what he's experiencing when his emotions arise. For example, if his heart was beating fast when he opened the light bill, perhaps he was he thinking, "I don't have the money for this" or "What will I do if the power is shut off?" Show your man the direct correlation between his thoughts and his emotions.
- 5). Remind your man that if he can control his thoughts, he can control his emotions. Suggest alternative, optimistic thoughts to replace his usual pattern. For example, replace the thought "We don't have the money for this" with "I don't know where the money for this is coming from, but things usually turn out fine. I'm not going to worry about that right now."
- 6). Give him time. Your man won't gain control over his emotions overnight. Be patient with him and remind him to be patient with himself.
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