Reasons You Don"t Have Any Couples Friends
Finding a good friend is tough, which means finding another couple that you bond with is even tougher. If you find that you're left out of game nights or other double date invitations, one of these seven reasons could be why.
If you look forward to game nights solely because you want to crush your couple friends, you might be taking competitiveness a bit too far. Game nights are fun because it's lightly competitive, meaning that you'll try your best but you won't act like a jerk about it if you win (or lose).
The goal in a game night is to pass the time pleasantly while bonding with your friends. Games can help break the ice for new friends or give you a way to get to know existing friends just a little bit better.
If you're bummed for days afterward when you lose, or find yourself yelling at a friend who stops to talk during a game, you might be a bit too competitive for your own good.
Being in love is a great thing, except when you make sure everyone knows it all the time. Understand the boundaries when it comes to public displays of affection (PDA). Kisses are fine, while making out in front of another couple is over the line.
Remember that the point in hanging out with another couple is to get to know them better and enjoy their company, so focus on small talk and conversation instead and ditch the PDA.
Maybe the problem isn't that you're too lovey dovey with your spouse, but that you flirt with your friend's husband or wife instead. While some couples think flirting is harmless, others are uncomfortable with it.
Get to know what your friend's boundaries are in terms of conversation and humor and stay within them. Then, save your flirting for your mate instead.
I'm sure we've all know "that couple" that takes every argument from zero to sixty while you and your mate sit there feeling awkward. It's not that you can't argue when you're out with other people, it's that no one wants to witness a knock down drag out fight or worse, get pulled into it. There are times and places to have the big arguments in a marriage or relationship, and in front of your couple friends isn't one of them.
If arguments aren't the problem, maybe it's that you think sharing details at your spouse's expense is hilarious. The problem is, everyone has to be in on the joke in order for it to be funny, so if your spouse is the constant target it can get old real fast.
Couple friends are no different than one-on-one friendships in that they need to be nurtured. So if you're neglecting your friendship, it probably won't last.
Are you bad couple friends? Here are some signs:
Not all couples share the same level of income and spending money, so if your friends say to you "Sorry, we can't afford that restaurant. Can we pick a different one instead?" how do you respond? Are you annoyed with them? Do you point out the ways that they could make more money, save money, or spend their money differently?
If so, your couple friends are probably going to avoid you from then on. Even if you think your friends "should" be able to afford something, if they tell you they can't afford it, take it at face value. Perhaps they have expenses you don't know about, or maybe they are just savers whereas you are a spender.
Don't judge. Instead, find something you can both easily afford to do, like one of these double date ideas.
Couple friends are often formed because two friends were close and invited their spouses along so the four of them could hang out. However, what passes in a friendship with two people doesn't always fly with four.
For example, if your friend is always teasing you when you're alone about your past or a sensitive subject, it could be awkward for this topic to be discussed in front of your spouse. Hearing about old boyfriends or girlfriends or bad choices from long ago might not be the best way to get to know each other as a foursome.
Game Nights Are Too Competitive
If you look forward to game nights solely because you want to crush your couple friends, you might be taking competitiveness a bit too far. Game nights are fun because it's lightly competitive, meaning that you'll try your best but you won't act like a jerk about it if you win (or lose).
The goal in a game night is to pass the time pleasantly while bonding with your friends. Games can help break the ice for new friends or give you a way to get to know existing friends just a little bit better.
If you're bummed for days afterward when you lose, or find yourself yelling at a friend who stops to talk during a game, you might be a bit too competitive for your own good.
You're Too Lovey Dovey
Being in love is a great thing, except when you make sure everyone knows it all the time. Understand the boundaries when it comes to public displays of affection (PDA). Kisses are fine, while making out in front of another couple is over the line.
Remember that the point in hanging out with another couple is to get to know them better and enjoy their company, so focus on small talk and conversation instead and ditch the PDA.
You Flirt With One of Your Friends
Maybe the problem isn't that you're too lovey dovey with your spouse, but that you flirt with your friend's husband or wife instead. While some couples think flirting is harmless, others are uncomfortable with it.
Get to know what your friend's boundaries are in terms of conversation and humor and stay within them. Then, save your flirting for your mate instead.
You Fight With and Embarrass Each Other
I'm sure we've all know "that couple" that takes every argument from zero to sixty while you and your mate sit there feeling awkward. It's not that you can't argue when you're out with other people, it's that no one wants to witness a knock down drag out fight or worse, get pulled into it. There are times and places to have the big arguments in a marriage or relationship, and in front of your couple friends isn't one of them.
If arguments aren't the problem, maybe it's that you think sharing details at your spouse's expense is hilarious. The problem is, everyone has to be in on the joke in order for it to be funny, so if your spouse is the constant target it can get old real fast.
You're Bad Friends
Couple friends are no different than one-on-one friendships in that they need to be nurtured. So if you're neglecting your friendship, it probably won't last.
Are you bad couple friends? Here are some signs:
- You only call up your couples friends when you want them to share your joy (new baby, celebrate a promotion, etc.)
- You think you're being sly when you pick on one of the friends because you're jealous or don't like them very much.
- You fail to reciprocate when your couples friends buy dinner or have you over.
- You exclude your friends from parties and other invites.
- The topic of conversation is always about you.
You Don't Understand Your Friend's Budget
Not all couples share the same level of income and spending money, so if your friends say to you "Sorry, we can't afford that restaurant. Can we pick a different one instead?" how do you respond? Are you annoyed with them? Do you point out the ways that they could make more money, save money, or spend their money differently?
If so, your couple friends are probably going to avoid you from then on. Even if you think your friends "should" be able to afford something, if they tell you they can't afford it, take it at face value. Perhaps they have expenses you don't know about, or maybe they are just savers whereas you are a spender.
Don't judge. Instead, find something you can both easily afford to do, like one of these double date ideas.
You Share Your Friend's Secrets
Couple friends are often formed because two friends were close and invited their spouses along so the four of them could hang out. However, what passes in a friendship with two people doesn't always fly with four.
For example, if your friend is always teasing you when you're alone about your past or a sensitive subject, it could be awkward for this topic to be discussed in front of your spouse. Hearing about old boyfriends or girlfriends or bad choices from long ago might not be the best way to get to know each other as a foursome.
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