I've begun to understand the richness encased in the seemingly small and insignificant moments that too often go unnoticed.
Reading a good book, meeting a new friend, attending classes at a university, working in the garden, listening to the breeze rustling the leaves of surrounding trees, or gazing at stars on a warm summer night are the types of moments that shape our lives and sculpt our souls.
Many of these moments are spent with people whose life journeys have woven with ours.
These friends have sprinkled my soul with their grace, friendship, and love.
Myriads of interactions have helped shape and define me.
Parents and relatives, siblings we grew alongside, teachers who guided us, and friends who shared time with us have all made significant contributions to who we are.
Just recently I had the opportunity to reconnect with two groups of friends from the distant past.
Back to the High School Days One impromptu gathering was of seven high school chums, many of whom who had not seen each other in decades.
We shared many great stories and recollections over a couple of cocktails, bringing back memories that had been shelved away in the deep recesses of our minds for years.
Back in the day, these little moments didn't seem very significant, but in retrospect, they helped influence, shape, and mold all of us into who we are today.
Though our physical attributes have changed-more wrinkles, larger bellies, graying hair (or lack of hair)-the stories and deep connections remain.
It always surprises me how old friends can pick up right where they left off years ago without pretense or show.
That terrible fake ID that worked, summer days playing roulette in a friends basement, and the Easter weekend spent in a Florida detention center were great stories of shared experience.
People we dated; teachers who steered our lives in certain directions; and common friends, both living and deceased: these topics made for lively conversation.
It was with sadness that we bid each other farewell, swapping phone numbers, email addresses, and promising that it wouldn't be so long before our next rendezvous.
The Benefits of Friends I recently came across a list of common regrets that researchers compiled by interviewing people at the end of their lives.
One of these was Did Not Stay in Touch with Friends.
In the final days and weeks of a person's life, it becomes clear that love and relationships are what matter.
Having friends becomes particularly important as we age.
Without friends many of us might withdraw into our own daily routines and eventually withdraw from social situations, finding time alone to be most comfortable.
Friendships are the best antidote for isolation and routine.
Friendships are good for our health.
They provide good conversation, help you celebrate and laugh during good times while providing support and encouragement during challenging ones.
The companionship offered by friends is invaluable.
Friendship gives a sense of belonging to something special.
It gives us purpose and something to look forward to, be it a telephone call, an affectionate embrace, meaningful conversation, or a personal visit.
Friendship is a boost to our self confidence and self-worth, and helps us deal with stressful situations that may arise in life.
Friendships can help us cope with huge and life-changing events such as a divorce, a serious illness, job loss, or the loss of a loved one.
Simply being able to "vent" thoughts, feelings, and beliefs with another can effectively reduce internal strife by sharing with an attentive ear.
The act of sharing, or "getting-it-all-out," is therapeutic in itself.
However, friendships do not just happen.
They take time and energy.
One must be willing to be vulnerable, honest, and willing to share who you really are in order to achieve meaningful depth in a friendship.
Also, friendship is a two-way street; we need to be willing to give of our time and resources and not just be a recipient of friendship.
We need to approach friendships with integrity, by honoring and respecting others' rights to privacy as well as not judging or criticizing what is shared.
Many of us today can count on one hand the number of people we consider to be a true friend.
Some of us are lucky to count just one.
Ollie The second gathering was a four day camp-out in remembrance of a dear friend who passed away 17 months ago.
Ollie was not only a celebrated teacher in Anchorage, Alaska, but also a teacher and mentor of loving and living life to its fullest.
Ollie was constantly learning and sharing his excitement and passion of the natural world with everyone he met.
Through him, many of us learned about winter ecology, plant and bird identification, geology, cross country skiing, camping, wilderness travel, and fishing.
Ollie lived large.
He was at his best when out exploring, engaging, and actively doing what he loved most: learning about the natural environment.
He was passionate about life, never being satisfied with just book learning or talking about his dreams, but rather insisting on doing and applying what he knew.
He shared stories of his experiences with others in his impassioned and zealous manner, drawing others into his spirited narrative of his ventures.
He loved Alaska, and engaged fully during the summer months in fishing, rafting the wild untamed rivers, and hunting wild game.
I was fortunate to have shared time with him on more than a few of his wilderness excursions.
Without Ollie in my life, I never would have seen thousands of wild Pacific walrus on Round Island, grizzly bears catching leaping red salmon at Brooks Falls, hooking mammoth rainbow trout while rafting rivers only reached by float plane, or cross-county skiing on the glacial valleys of Mt.
Denali, where I nearly fell through a snow-covered crevasse that scared the bejeepers out of me.
The Small Moments But the parts I am fondest of are the small moments with Ollie-the times we sat around the campfire, drinking strong coffee, sharing stories and swapping tales while absorbing the sounds, sights, and feel of the world around us.
We would recap the day's travels, talking about the "big one" that got away, the fresh print of the grizzly found on the river's shoreline, or the bull moose that crossed less than 100 yards in front of our raft.
It was the passionate manner in which he shared his experiences that Ollie was so great at.
He made everything sound so captivating and exciting.
Although I had been along on the same day's journey with him, I just didn't express the day with the same zest as he did.
I wanted to be like Ollie, to be enthusiastic, passionate, to savor life, and find richness and excitement in every moment of living.
To this day I have a phone message he left when he was in the hospital.
I listen to it now and then just to hear his voice.
A few days before his last heart operation his wife "took off", as he puts it, with his pants to wash them, pants which incidentally had his cell phone in the pocket.
He chuckles, incredulous that she was going to leave him in the hospital with no pants to wear, resolving to pull a practical joke on her at a later date.
"What do you need pants for?" she said.
"You're not going anywhere.
" Little did anyone know how true a statement that would be.
I miss Ollie.
I find comfort in the memories of all the places we did travel, and the knowledge that his presence in my life has helped sculpt me into the person I am today.
For this I am eternally grateful.
Take a moment to think about the friends who have shaped your life, who have shown you a different path, and who continue to influence and guide you.
What have you already learned from them? What are the gifts of friendship in your life?