Marriage problems, why are men and woman so different
Do you know that unresolved difficulties in the (marriage|relationship) contribute to over 40% of divorces in the US alone.
So let's try to understand the problems or the point of breakdown in general. First we need to understand that men and woman are very different.
We think differently, act differently and most of the time do not understand each other at all. So what was God up to if we're are supposed to be together in a perfect partnership.
So let me write this from a man's perspective!
As men we can be 1 directional, seem stubborn, impatient.
Women are the paternal ones, caring with always there family and friends in mind and around them.
Men have the hunter still in them and one thing in mind, To provide! We still care and love our family but at a different level ( This is just my opinion ).
Woman have been graced with the patience for dealing with Kids all day, extended family issues and therefore band together to talk and deal with things.
Men just don't have that patience, they pretty much just have their immediate family in mind and after a hard day at work the patience can get a little thin at times.
I have been guilty of not being snappy but just not the patience to listen to what's up with the mother-in law, sister etc. I've just got home and tired and need to just chill for an hour.
Sorry not in a nasty way, but we can't handle walking in the door and going into serious conversation, Brain overload!
Really I don't think we men handle tiredness to well and I do appreciate that woman have exceptional skills here, I mean we have 2 kids. A 2yr old and another at 4 months, now a day of that for a man would be a nightmare.
It is a different tired having to keep them entertained but be around all the activity and noise. I am glad to go to work I tell you.
Men need to have their brain stimulated in their work, be creative and for most of us physical labour puts food on the table.
This is where money comes into the equation and it needs to be constantly talked about and planned/Budgeted. I think this is in the Woman's skill set as good organisers and planners.
Sometimes Men can have the attitude that I have made the money I can get what I want and what is left we need to run the house etc. WRONG!! This is an equal partnership, you can't just go buy beers with your buddies
if the budget does not allow, Family first.
On the subject of Buddies and im sure I have been guilty of this in the past, WE don't think twice when it comes to after work drinks at the pub. I did this often, sometimes 3-4 nights a week.
Looking back I really took my wife for granted and only stepped up to being a real husband and father when my first child came along. Amazing what a bit of responsibility does to a man.
I appreciated my wife through new eyes.
SEX.
This can be a real deal breaker with guys ( not all ). We think differently about sex, most of the time men just want it and think about it all the time. Woman (and again not all) don't need or think about it as much, so when a guy is thinking about it every day it can seen few and far between when it does come around.
Most of the time it is about timing though, not just not wanting to. As said before especially once kids are a part of the equation the wife has just had a mad day and the kids are now in bed she just wants to dive into bed as well exhausted.
Instead of talking and maybe a cuddle to say how about in the morning ah im tired, we can get no response to our advances so are ignored or feel like it anyway.
This is the main area I think that males feel the most wanted and loved when they feel there partner wants them physically, Primitive maybe but true. When Woman appricated the time to be cuddled .
So to sum up:
Talk, communication goes a long way when you know where each other is at!
Try to understand each other, we are different but perfect together. Be patient and make an effort!
Plan your finances together!
Try to think about each other sexually and again talk!
Guys a bit of romance goes a long way, a nice dinner out, a simple walk together
So let's try to understand the problems or the point of breakdown in general. First we need to understand that men and woman are very different.
We think differently, act differently and most of the time do not understand each other at all. So what was God up to if we're are supposed to be together in a perfect partnership.
So let me write this from a man's perspective!
As men we can be 1 directional, seem stubborn, impatient.
Women are the paternal ones, caring with always there family and friends in mind and around them.
Men have the hunter still in them and one thing in mind, To provide! We still care and love our family but at a different level ( This is just my opinion ).
Woman have been graced with the patience for dealing with Kids all day, extended family issues and therefore band together to talk and deal with things.
Men just don't have that patience, they pretty much just have their immediate family in mind and after a hard day at work the patience can get a little thin at times.
I have been guilty of not being snappy but just not the patience to listen to what's up with the mother-in law, sister etc. I've just got home and tired and need to just chill for an hour.
Sorry not in a nasty way, but we can't handle walking in the door and going into serious conversation, Brain overload!
Really I don't think we men handle tiredness to well and I do appreciate that woman have exceptional skills here, I mean we have 2 kids. A 2yr old and another at 4 months, now a day of that for a man would be a nightmare.
It is a different tired having to keep them entertained but be around all the activity and noise. I am glad to go to work I tell you.
Men need to have their brain stimulated in their work, be creative and for most of us physical labour puts food on the table.
This is where money comes into the equation and it needs to be constantly talked about and planned/Budgeted. I think this is in the Woman's skill set as good organisers and planners.
Sometimes Men can have the attitude that I have made the money I can get what I want and what is left we need to run the house etc. WRONG!! This is an equal partnership, you can't just go buy beers with your buddies
if the budget does not allow, Family first.
On the subject of Buddies and im sure I have been guilty of this in the past, WE don't think twice when it comes to after work drinks at the pub. I did this often, sometimes 3-4 nights a week.
Looking back I really took my wife for granted and only stepped up to being a real husband and father when my first child came along. Amazing what a bit of responsibility does to a man.
I appreciated my wife through new eyes.
SEX.
This can be a real deal breaker with guys ( not all ). We think differently about sex, most of the time men just want it and think about it all the time. Woman (and again not all) don't need or think about it as much, so when a guy is thinking about it every day it can seen few and far between when it does come around.
Most of the time it is about timing though, not just not wanting to. As said before especially once kids are a part of the equation the wife has just had a mad day and the kids are now in bed she just wants to dive into bed as well exhausted.
Instead of talking and maybe a cuddle to say how about in the morning ah im tired, we can get no response to our advances so are ignored or feel like it anyway.
This is the main area I think that males feel the most wanted and loved when they feel there partner wants them physically, Primitive maybe but true. When Woman appricated the time to be cuddled .
So to sum up:
Talk, communication goes a long way when you know where each other is at!
Try to understand each other, we are different but perfect together. Be patient and make an effort!
Plan your finances together!
Try to think about each other sexually and again talk!
Guys a bit of romance goes a long way, a nice dinner out, a simple walk together
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