How to Deal With the Parents of a Defiant Student
- 1). Make an appointment to meet with parents face-to-face to discuss the student's issues. Plan a meeting to help parents understand the depth of your caring and concern. Use the opportunity to assess the child's home environment.
- 2). Voice your concerns gently and clearly. To lessen the blow, sandwich the problem between compliments about the child's abilities or efforts. Choose neutral language; speak in a calm, personable tone. Highlight the problematic behavior, rather than condemning the individual.
- 3). Address the parents' reactions calmly. If they are angry, acknowledge their feelings and give them time to release the immediate flare-up of emotion. Truly listen to objections and comments; you may learn valuable information that causes you to reflect on the child in a new light.
- 4). Ask for suggestions and advice. Be clear that you are asking out of respect for a parent's knowledge, not out of desperation. Ask parents to describe the way they manage behavior at home.
- 5). Propose a plan that includes parental involvement. If a parent admits to having similar issues at home, suggest management strategies such as positive reinforcement, time-outs, loss of privileges or other age-appropriate methods.
- 6). Follow up with parents after the meeting. For long-term or recurring defiance issues, set up regular meetings to discuss progress and set new goals. Communicate with parents in writing to save as documentation of your efforts.
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