Communication Isn"t the Critical Factor If You Want to Save Your Marriage!
Communication with your spouse isn't the critical factor if you are fighting to save your marriage! You may be a bit surprised reading a statement like this but at a closer look you will likely agree with me.
Honest communication between spouses and other components like trust, mutual respect, and friendship are very important ingredients of any kind of long term relationship.
But it is a mistake to focus your attention on those things if you are at the early stage of your attempt to save your marriage Most marriage therapists usually try to encourage both spouses to discuss problematic issues but it seems to me that this approach is completely pointless at this stage.
Why? Because when your marriage is at the crossroads you are probably the only party still fighting to save it.
It is very likely that your spouse has already emotionally checked out of it.
Even if you somehow manage to get your spouse to go to see a therapist together, you will be the only one fighting to give your marriage another chance.
Your partner will be just sitting there and going through the motions at best.
For this reason I claim that focusing on addressing problematic issues is completely counterproductive at this stage.
There is no question that they all need to be addressed and solved if the marriage is to survive in a long run.
However, it has to be done when you both have reached the point where you are actually committed to saving your marriage.
An experienced therapist can offer an immense amount of help to both of you at this point but brining those problematic issues up too early will only result in reinforcing already present feeling of resentment toward each other.
If you want to successfully save your marriage you have to take a different approach.
Forget about problematic issues and focus on making yourself desirable in your spouse's eyes again.
You have to find a way to bring back those feelings of curiosity, passion, and attraction toward you again.
Marriage is based love and attraction.
Of course, other factors are also important but they don't make or break a marriage.
What keeps it together are love and attraction.
As long as there is a strong desire for one another you two will always find a way to deal with problems.
Don't waste your time on trying to deal with them now and focus on bringing the feeling back.
If you fail, the problems won't matter any more because you marriage will be over anyway.
Honest communication between spouses and other components like trust, mutual respect, and friendship are very important ingredients of any kind of long term relationship.
But it is a mistake to focus your attention on those things if you are at the early stage of your attempt to save your marriage Most marriage therapists usually try to encourage both spouses to discuss problematic issues but it seems to me that this approach is completely pointless at this stage.
Why? Because when your marriage is at the crossroads you are probably the only party still fighting to save it.
It is very likely that your spouse has already emotionally checked out of it.
Even if you somehow manage to get your spouse to go to see a therapist together, you will be the only one fighting to give your marriage another chance.
Your partner will be just sitting there and going through the motions at best.
For this reason I claim that focusing on addressing problematic issues is completely counterproductive at this stage.
There is no question that they all need to be addressed and solved if the marriage is to survive in a long run.
However, it has to be done when you both have reached the point where you are actually committed to saving your marriage.
An experienced therapist can offer an immense amount of help to both of you at this point but brining those problematic issues up too early will only result in reinforcing already present feeling of resentment toward each other.
If you want to successfully save your marriage you have to take a different approach.
Forget about problematic issues and focus on making yourself desirable in your spouse's eyes again.
You have to find a way to bring back those feelings of curiosity, passion, and attraction toward you again.
Marriage is based love and attraction.
Of course, other factors are also important but they don't make or break a marriage.
What keeps it together are love and attraction.
As long as there is a strong desire for one another you two will always find a way to deal with problems.
Don't waste your time on trying to deal with them now and focus on bringing the feeling back.
If you fail, the problems won't matter any more because you marriage will be over anyway.
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