Love, honor and respect are words that many couples repeat on their wedding day.
Many, however, seem to add a silent addendum, "except when I think that you're being an idiot.
" Demonstrating respect is a lot harder in practice.
Setting Aside Differences When couples get married, each typically believes he/she know their partner pretty well.
Often they are surprised to discover another side which surfaces when the couple has a disagreement.
Though you may be surprised by your partner's stand or point of view, try your best not to be critical.
Listen to what your mate is actually saying rather than reloading your planned response.
This principle goes both ways.
Marriage would be pretty dull if couples agreed all the time.
So listen, understand, make compromises on non-essentials, and show respect when you simply can't come to agreement.
In other words, accept the fact that from time-to-time, you may simply need to agree to disagree on a personal conviction.
Squeezing in Personal Space Being married can sometimes feel like living in a fish bowl.
Ok, it's debatable whether fish have feelings, but the point is that there just isn't a lot of personal space or time that a person can claim.
Couples who learn to respect each other's personal boundaries are able to build a solid relationship Let your mate know, for instance, that you need some time for yourself.
Be fair and offer the same courtesy.
Try to choose your time apart when there isn't a pre-arranged or pressing need to be together.
Some couples also need space when faced with a conflict.
One or the other may not be able to talk right then or might need to think about the issue calmly before responding.
Ask your spouse when a good time to talk would be - then respect the answer (as long as he/she is willing to talk through the issue in the near future).
What Did You Do? Most people like appreciate surprises - at least the types of surprises where he/she doesn't have the center of attention foisted upon them.
So, for example, bringing home dessert or a token of appreciation can help brighten you beloved's day.
A huge, budget-busting gift that the person knew nothing of, on the other hand, will likely not have the same affect.
So if you want to present a major surprise to your spouse, talk it over first - at least in general terms to retain the element of surprise.
There may be scheduling or financial restrictions that you're simply not be aware off.
Then respect the feedback if he/she says it is not feasible.
On the other hand, if your spouse wants to plan something special, try to cooperate without asking too many implicitly critical-sounding questions.
Your spouse wants to show you some appreciation.
Respect that by accepting the sentiment graciously.
Compromise and respect need to work together to help a marriage thrive.
This isn't as simple as it may appear when merely reading it because individuals want to believe they are right.
Couples who are able to maneuver a respectful balance are building a strong, sustaining relationship.