Adjustment and Acceptance

• Your spouse's kids are most likely to feel insecure with a new person entering into their lives; they are most likely to see you as a person who has taken their mother's position. Fear of changes you may bring into their lives and the status of their relationship with their father and mother all raise their insecurities. They are more likely to have increased concerns if you have kids of your own, in which case they will have to live together and share things with completely new people. You are more likely to have to adjust and accept behaviors such as resentment, antagonism, withdrawal and deliberately hurtful comments from your stepchildren, especially in the early stages.
  
  

Conflicting Emotions

• You are likely to find yourself going through a number of emotions when you become a stepmother. On one hand, your spouse's kids make you feel guilty as they see you as the reason for their parents not being together. It's not realistically possible to feel love and affection for them overnight, and you may even dislike them. On the other hand, feelings of spousal jealousy may arise in you when your partner sees his children as his first priority. Feelings of insecurity are also possible when your stepchildren inadvertently or deliberately compare your parenting skills with that of their biological mother.
  
  

Marital Discord

• With time and energy spent more on developing relationships with stepchildren and handling internal conflicts, it's likely that you find less quality time to spend with your partner. Lack of communication can result in misunderstandings and increase distrust for one another, which ultimately can break your relationship.
  
  

Parenting Demands

• Parenting stepchildren is more difficult in terms of physical and emotional efforts than parenting biological kids, according to Rosemary Rogers of CNN. You need to adopt a parenting approach depending on your stepchildren's age and maturity; a toddler is more likely to accept you quickly than a teenager. Your stepchildren may not recognize your best and sincerest efforts or feelings to make a good and safe home for them. Efforts to discipline them are more likely to be greeted with rejection and resentment; lack of discipline, on the other hand, suggests to your stepchildren that you do not find them worthy of parental attention. It takes a long time before you earn the love and respect of your stepchildren.