When It Comes to the Emotional Abuser, Why Am I Angry?
Isn't it mind boggling to get to the point in your life when you've been so angry for so long that you don't even know at who or what you're angry? If you've been in relationship with an emotional abuser this is a common feeling.
Your having experienced continued rejection, broken promises, lies, disappointments, belittling, and you know all the other kinds of disrespect that happened to you is reason to be angry.
This is perhaps where you need to begin in finding out exactly at who and about what you're angry.
Go back to the point in time when you began to change from who you were when you got involved with the emotional abuser.
Before this relationship you probably would say you were generally a happy person, you felt you knew what you wanted out of life, and you basically enjoyed living.
When unexpected negative situations occurred, you rose to the occasion, thought through what needed to be done, perhaps experienced some heightened emotions, resolved the situation, and proceeded on with life as normal.
Once you became involved with the emotional abuser unexpected negative situations didn't just happen once in a while.
They happened almost every day, if not every day.
In this type of relationship your system never could reach a homeostasis.
You were always off balance.
Being you emotionally were in endless upheaval it was easy to lose track of what you were angry about.
Situations that made you angry yesterday weren't resolved and on top of that you had situations that made you angry today.
That brings you to the question, "Why am I angry?" And the main answer to that question is that you were being disrespected and treated unfairly.
If you go back and look at most every situation that you experienced the feeling of anger, you will find that in some fashion the emotional abuser was disrespecting you or situations occurring were unfair.
At who are you angry? Initially, you were angry at the emotional abuser and that does not need explanation.
After time, you began to become angry with yourself.
Angry at yourself because you knew how they were treating you and you were allowing it to happen.
Angry at yourself because perhaps you got out of the relationship and then went back into it even though you knew things hadn't changed.
Angry at yourself for this and angry at yourself for that.
Angry at the emotional abuser for this and angry at the emotional abuser for that.
The good thing in all of this is that you're asking yourself at who and what are you angry.
When you begin asking yourself those two tough questions, you're ready to look at those answers.
You are at a point of being ready to take 100% responsibility for your actions.
You can blame all you want on the emotional abuser's nasty treatment, try to figure out why they do what they do or don't do, get all sorts of education and answers about narcissists, psychopaths, sociopaths, and the like, but bottom line is you're ready to take full responsibility for your choices.
Looking at and accepting that you made the choice to stay is a hard thing to swallow.
Regardless of situations and circumstances, you're acknowledging that you chose to stay.
Are you angry at yourself? Sure you are.
Who wouldn't be? So what can you do with this now? Learn from it! Use the powerful negative emotion of anger and turn in to the opposite end of the spectrum to be positive.
Use the force that is present to propel you to make wiser choices.
When it comes to intimate relationships, decide you will only allow people in your life that are respectful.
Decide you will only allow people in your life that will treat you fairly.
What other choices do you have if you want to get back to being a happy person? What other choices do you have if you want to effectively resolve unexpected situations that arise in the course of living and move on and continue enjoying life? The knowledge you learned from being in a relationship with an emotional abuser will help you to choose better relationships.
You paid the highest tuition possible for this knowledge.
You paid to get this knowledge with your time and your life.
Be encouraged to use this knowledge and move forward in a way that will enrich your life.
Your having experienced continued rejection, broken promises, lies, disappointments, belittling, and you know all the other kinds of disrespect that happened to you is reason to be angry.
This is perhaps where you need to begin in finding out exactly at who and about what you're angry.
Go back to the point in time when you began to change from who you were when you got involved with the emotional abuser.
Before this relationship you probably would say you were generally a happy person, you felt you knew what you wanted out of life, and you basically enjoyed living.
When unexpected negative situations occurred, you rose to the occasion, thought through what needed to be done, perhaps experienced some heightened emotions, resolved the situation, and proceeded on with life as normal.
Once you became involved with the emotional abuser unexpected negative situations didn't just happen once in a while.
They happened almost every day, if not every day.
In this type of relationship your system never could reach a homeostasis.
You were always off balance.
Being you emotionally were in endless upheaval it was easy to lose track of what you were angry about.
Situations that made you angry yesterday weren't resolved and on top of that you had situations that made you angry today.
That brings you to the question, "Why am I angry?" And the main answer to that question is that you were being disrespected and treated unfairly.
If you go back and look at most every situation that you experienced the feeling of anger, you will find that in some fashion the emotional abuser was disrespecting you or situations occurring were unfair.
At who are you angry? Initially, you were angry at the emotional abuser and that does not need explanation.
After time, you began to become angry with yourself.
Angry at yourself because you knew how they were treating you and you were allowing it to happen.
Angry at yourself because perhaps you got out of the relationship and then went back into it even though you knew things hadn't changed.
Angry at yourself for this and angry at yourself for that.
Angry at the emotional abuser for this and angry at the emotional abuser for that.
The good thing in all of this is that you're asking yourself at who and what are you angry.
When you begin asking yourself those two tough questions, you're ready to look at those answers.
You are at a point of being ready to take 100% responsibility for your actions.
You can blame all you want on the emotional abuser's nasty treatment, try to figure out why they do what they do or don't do, get all sorts of education and answers about narcissists, psychopaths, sociopaths, and the like, but bottom line is you're ready to take full responsibility for your choices.
Looking at and accepting that you made the choice to stay is a hard thing to swallow.
Regardless of situations and circumstances, you're acknowledging that you chose to stay.
Are you angry at yourself? Sure you are.
Who wouldn't be? So what can you do with this now? Learn from it! Use the powerful negative emotion of anger and turn in to the opposite end of the spectrum to be positive.
Use the force that is present to propel you to make wiser choices.
When it comes to intimate relationships, decide you will only allow people in your life that are respectful.
Decide you will only allow people in your life that will treat you fairly.
What other choices do you have if you want to get back to being a happy person? What other choices do you have if you want to effectively resolve unexpected situations that arise in the course of living and move on and continue enjoying life? The knowledge you learned from being in a relationship with an emotional abuser will help you to choose better relationships.
You paid the highest tuition possible for this knowledge.
You paid to get this knowledge with your time and your life.
Be encouraged to use this knowledge and move forward in a way that will enrich your life.
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