Divorce is not necessarily the only way to approach infidelity.
Forgiving is another option.
Your marriage might survive adultery.
But can you? Adultery is the cause behind over 90 percent of the divorces in the United States.
After the affair is discovered both spouses go into a deep emotional period of transition.
For the betrayed spouse, marriage infidelity can be the catalyst for an array of emotions such as anger, shock, disbelief, depression and intense pain.
For the adulterer it can trigger guilt, shame and remorse.
The whole family is affected by adultery.
Both partners and their children will go through an adjustment period.
One thing many behavioral researchers agree upon is that you must not make any critical decisions while you are still under the intense feelings of having found out that your spouse has cheated on you.
The severity of your pain may blur your perspective of what is best for you and your children.
To cope with this painful situation, many professionals recommend that you give yourself and your spouse some space.
A temporary separation will give you the time you need to cool down and sort things out.
Now what will happen to the children during that period of time? This is one of the many situations in which a custody and visitation plan comes in handy.
You cannot penalize your children for your spouse's misbehaviors.
After all, he or she may have been a good parent.
If that is the case, you still must allow your children to share time with your spouse.
It has been proven by many psychological studies that children benefit from the interaction of both parents in their life.
A visitation calendar would give you and your spouse the benefit of maintaining your relationship with your children, while you and your partner work on your marital issues.
You and your spouse should be able to plan a fair visitation schedule, so that your children do not have to go through the pain of an abrupt separation from one parent.
The visitation calendar should provide the opportunity for both parents to share equal time with the children.
When undergoing a temporary separation due to infidelity, you must be able to handle your own pain while managing your children's need at the same time.
A visitation schedule will give you the time you need to go to counseling, therapy, and/or take any steps you need to heal emotionally.
It will also give the children the joy of keeping a relationship with their other parent.
Surely there are some couples that should reconcile after an incident of infidelity.
However, if infidelity has been the norm within your marriage, then you might not have a marriage at all.
In those cases, even though forgiving is recommended in order to move on, you do not necessarily have to forget.
Whatever your decision after your temporary separation, a visitation calendar is an excellent tool for handling these difficult times.
Take advantage of it.