Invest in Essential Massage Oils As "Marriage Insurance"
I invest in essential massage oils as "marriage insurance.
" A rich, fragrant man-friendly essential massage oil must number among the best investments a woman can make.
Not that I recommend abandoning your annuities, Roth IRA's, and corn futures, but I strongly recommend diversifying into essential oils.
At the end of your fiscal year, when you calculate your gross marginal return on investment, you should find some quotient well in excess of 100%.
Or, examining the question from another prudent angle, how much would you pay to safeguard your marriage against extra-curricular activities? Somewhere in the neighborhood of twenty American dollars does not seem extortionate, does it? I have studied my essential massage oil spreadsheets and forecasts.
More importantly, however, I have examined life from my husband's perspective-wonderful to relate as the ancient Homer poem once said.
Of course, my man enjoys sex; he does, after all, lug around a ponderous y-chromosome.
But he enjoys the meaning and symbolism in the sex just as much as he enjoys the hydraulics and relief.
For a man, an orgasm has the tranquilizing effect of two valium, but it has the symbolic impact of a major parade culminating in presentation of a ginormous trophy.
Honestly, my husband's ego derives more pleasure and satisfaction from sex than his "throbbing manhood" ever could.
Therefore, forecasting my return on investment, I calculate the value of the essential massage oil as a self-esteem lubricant.
Still looking at marriage and family life from my husband's decidedly all-male perspective, I see a picture much different from mine.
I have taught my husband to acknowledge it is all about me, but I frequently go more than a few extra miles to make him feel as though it is all about him.
I do not believe I trick or tease him; I genuinely believe he deserve that kind of treatment.
The massage is not nearly so essential as the recognition.
Although I generally work like the mule of the domestic world, I get more than my share of "intrinsic rewards," and the kids have learned the more profusely they acknowledge my contributions to their lives, the more I will do and sacrifice for them-seven volcano projects, each better than the one before, for example.
My husband, however, slaves away at a job that does not exactly thrill him, and for his drudgery and tolerance, he collects a paycheck.
He never sees his paycheck, but he collects one.
Meanwhile, he watches his hairline recede, his paunch expand, and his teen-appeal evaporate.
A profound sense of manly duty drives him day after day; what inspires him beyond confidence he is doing the right thing? From his perspective, I clearly can see how liberal applications of aromatherapy massage oils might alloy the motivation.
Yes, naturally the equipment responds well to liberal applications of massage oil.
But to emphasize the affair thing for just a moment; men do not acquiesce in affairs for the equipment's sake; instead, they seek affirmation, relief, reassurance they still got it.
Appreciative shoulder massage replete with compliments about strong muscles and acknowledgement that I feel how hard he has been working yields at least as much mileage as going straight for the joystick.
Long and languorous massage of my husband's tired biceps and forearms-still replete with effusive praise of their power and strength-very clearly makes him feel like the alpha male among the masters of the universe.
I have heard men tell their lovers how they "ache" for them.
I understand, however, mature men just generally ache.
Their hearts ache even worse than their tired muscles and weary joints, and they yearn for the miracle of combined youthful virility with mature wisdom.
A little skilled application of essential oil and soothing suggestive talk makes all the body's aches disappear, and they render the aching heart just a vague memory.
It comes down simply to this: The more I assure my man of his vital manhood, the less he will seek the comfort of another woman.
All that and a little essential massage oil liberally applied to my own lithe self and we got us a deal.
" A rich, fragrant man-friendly essential massage oil must number among the best investments a woman can make.
Not that I recommend abandoning your annuities, Roth IRA's, and corn futures, but I strongly recommend diversifying into essential oils.
At the end of your fiscal year, when you calculate your gross marginal return on investment, you should find some quotient well in excess of 100%.
Or, examining the question from another prudent angle, how much would you pay to safeguard your marriage against extra-curricular activities? Somewhere in the neighborhood of twenty American dollars does not seem extortionate, does it? I have studied my essential massage oil spreadsheets and forecasts.
More importantly, however, I have examined life from my husband's perspective-wonderful to relate as the ancient Homer poem once said.
Of course, my man enjoys sex; he does, after all, lug around a ponderous y-chromosome.
But he enjoys the meaning and symbolism in the sex just as much as he enjoys the hydraulics and relief.
For a man, an orgasm has the tranquilizing effect of two valium, but it has the symbolic impact of a major parade culminating in presentation of a ginormous trophy.
Honestly, my husband's ego derives more pleasure and satisfaction from sex than his "throbbing manhood" ever could.
Therefore, forecasting my return on investment, I calculate the value of the essential massage oil as a self-esteem lubricant.
Still looking at marriage and family life from my husband's decidedly all-male perspective, I see a picture much different from mine.
I have taught my husband to acknowledge it is all about me, but I frequently go more than a few extra miles to make him feel as though it is all about him.
I do not believe I trick or tease him; I genuinely believe he deserve that kind of treatment.
The massage is not nearly so essential as the recognition.
Although I generally work like the mule of the domestic world, I get more than my share of "intrinsic rewards," and the kids have learned the more profusely they acknowledge my contributions to their lives, the more I will do and sacrifice for them-seven volcano projects, each better than the one before, for example.
My husband, however, slaves away at a job that does not exactly thrill him, and for his drudgery and tolerance, he collects a paycheck.
He never sees his paycheck, but he collects one.
Meanwhile, he watches his hairline recede, his paunch expand, and his teen-appeal evaporate.
A profound sense of manly duty drives him day after day; what inspires him beyond confidence he is doing the right thing? From his perspective, I clearly can see how liberal applications of aromatherapy massage oils might alloy the motivation.
Yes, naturally the equipment responds well to liberal applications of massage oil.
But to emphasize the affair thing for just a moment; men do not acquiesce in affairs for the equipment's sake; instead, they seek affirmation, relief, reassurance they still got it.
Appreciative shoulder massage replete with compliments about strong muscles and acknowledgement that I feel how hard he has been working yields at least as much mileage as going straight for the joystick.
Long and languorous massage of my husband's tired biceps and forearms-still replete with effusive praise of their power and strength-very clearly makes him feel like the alpha male among the masters of the universe.
I have heard men tell their lovers how they "ache" for them.
I understand, however, mature men just generally ache.
Their hearts ache even worse than their tired muscles and weary joints, and they yearn for the miracle of combined youthful virility with mature wisdom.
A little skilled application of essential oil and soothing suggestive talk makes all the body's aches disappear, and they render the aching heart just a vague memory.
It comes down simply to this: The more I assure my man of his vital manhood, the less he will seek the comfort of another woman.
All that and a little essential massage oil liberally applied to my own lithe self and we got us a deal.
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