Relationships - How to Cope With an Insecure Partner
These days, many people have been married more than once or had several long term relationships over the course of their emotional lives.
This brings with it its own baggage or issues as people often repeat patterns of behaviour or judge the new partner based on old experiences.
It can be very draining to support a new relationship through these early learning phases, and sometimes hard to assess if the patterns can be unlearned and made better.
An insecure partner will often have had more than one negative or difficult relationship.
Sometimes the way that they handle their relationships will have been learned from family experiences and how people treated each other.
It can be hard for them to trust risking their emotions and put themselves in vulnerable situations, but the fact that they are trying to rectify this, by going on dates and meeting people, is room for optimism.
Two way communication is the biggest tool in the armory.
That and both people in the relationship appreciating tricky situations from each others perspective.
' How does my behaviour appear to my nervous or insecure partner, have they got a valid point?' is an important question to ask of oneself when things go wrong.
Listen to what is being said and the message behind the words that are being used to express their feelings and concerns.
Modern life brings many demands on personal relationships.
Often in business, senior staff are required to work longer and longer hours.
The old 9am - 5pm business model is long gone as people are regularly required to work away from home or entertain clients outside of business hours.
With the increase of dynamic women in business it is also frequently the case that attractive highly motivated people will be meeting in social business environments.
It can be a little difficult for the insecure partner left at home.
Trust has to be learned and developed.
Several tools can be used to constructively deal with a partner who is especially jealous or insecure.
It is important to look at where their attitudes and expectations have originated from.
Some people may have witnessed destructive or negative relationship patterns through from childhood.
They may feel that it is normal behaviour to be lied and cheated to, they may have witnessed violence or are wary of trusting too much or making themselves too vulnerable.
Some people learn over time to not express their feelings or their wants, it is safer that way.
The past does need to be healed, and not ignored as those negative feelings can convert into anger, resentment or result in ultimately becoming detached from the relationship.
Counselling and hypnotherapy can help in these situations, to help the person let go of those old patterns and start living more effectively in the present.
Some people choose to go for relationship counselling as they regard the issues as something to be tackled jointly.
Many people find that the benefits of couples counselling, in learning to listen and discuss situations as they arise, are invaluable skills that they use in many areas of their lives, from family to business negotiation situations.
Practical things can be implemented to help demonstrate that the relationship is valued.
Setting aside special 'us' time is an important statement to make.
- Be patient with the insecure partner.
Maybe go the extra mile by taking time to send a thoughtful text, make the phone call or buy a little gift to reassure them that you are thinking of them.
- Maybe have one night a week where you both dress smartly and have a meal together, free from external distractions, like television, work or children.
- Try to get away, even for a long weekend, from time to time - Share a hobby or interest, learn to dance or take up a foreign language together.
- Exercise.
Going for a country walk or joining in gym together is a valuable way of spending time together.
- Demonstrate solidarity.
Support each other in public, and then discuss differences in private.
All relationships have ups and downs, but in learning good skills of communication and mutual respect the potential for improved relationships with all people improves immeasurably.
This brings with it its own baggage or issues as people often repeat patterns of behaviour or judge the new partner based on old experiences.
It can be very draining to support a new relationship through these early learning phases, and sometimes hard to assess if the patterns can be unlearned and made better.
An insecure partner will often have had more than one negative or difficult relationship.
Sometimes the way that they handle their relationships will have been learned from family experiences and how people treated each other.
It can be hard for them to trust risking their emotions and put themselves in vulnerable situations, but the fact that they are trying to rectify this, by going on dates and meeting people, is room for optimism.
Two way communication is the biggest tool in the armory.
That and both people in the relationship appreciating tricky situations from each others perspective.
' How does my behaviour appear to my nervous or insecure partner, have they got a valid point?' is an important question to ask of oneself when things go wrong.
Listen to what is being said and the message behind the words that are being used to express their feelings and concerns.
Modern life brings many demands on personal relationships.
Often in business, senior staff are required to work longer and longer hours.
The old 9am - 5pm business model is long gone as people are regularly required to work away from home or entertain clients outside of business hours.
With the increase of dynamic women in business it is also frequently the case that attractive highly motivated people will be meeting in social business environments.
It can be a little difficult for the insecure partner left at home.
Trust has to be learned and developed.
Several tools can be used to constructively deal with a partner who is especially jealous or insecure.
It is important to look at where their attitudes and expectations have originated from.
Some people may have witnessed destructive or negative relationship patterns through from childhood.
They may feel that it is normal behaviour to be lied and cheated to, they may have witnessed violence or are wary of trusting too much or making themselves too vulnerable.
Some people learn over time to not express their feelings or their wants, it is safer that way.
The past does need to be healed, and not ignored as those negative feelings can convert into anger, resentment or result in ultimately becoming detached from the relationship.
Counselling and hypnotherapy can help in these situations, to help the person let go of those old patterns and start living more effectively in the present.
Some people choose to go for relationship counselling as they regard the issues as something to be tackled jointly.
Many people find that the benefits of couples counselling, in learning to listen and discuss situations as they arise, are invaluable skills that they use in many areas of their lives, from family to business negotiation situations.
Practical things can be implemented to help demonstrate that the relationship is valued.
Setting aside special 'us' time is an important statement to make.
- Be patient with the insecure partner.
Maybe go the extra mile by taking time to send a thoughtful text, make the phone call or buy a little gift to reassure them that you are thinking of them.
- Maybe have one night a week where you both dress smartly and have a meal together, free from external distractions, like television, work or children.
- Try to get away, even for a long weekend, from time to time - Share a hobby or interest, learn to dance or take up a foreign language together.
- Exercise.
Going for a country walk or joining in gym together is a valuable way of spending time together.
- Demonstrate solidarity.
Support each other in public, and then discuss differences in private.
All relationships have ups and downs, but in learning good skills of communication and mutual respect the potential for improved relationships with all people improves immeasurably.
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