By Marv Forsythe Headmaster, Fieldstone Academy boarding school

In our western society today there are few problems that are more prevalent and annoying than Entitlement in our children. The problem is of fairly recent advent beginning according to most sources in the early 70's and growing progressively up to the present day.

Defined by professionals as narcissistic entitlement, its beginnings come from the sincere desire by parents of all types to provide their children with a childhood and a subsequent adult life, €better than I had.€

As a result of this very sincere and laudable desire children began to be told how special they were. How precious and indeed how wonderful. Nothing was denied them even if the parents and other loving relatives had to make serious sacrifices to obtain the wants of their children (notice I did not say needs).

The children subsequently grew up believing themselves the center of the universe and the apple of every reasonable person's eye. They are the best looking, the most deserving, and anything that they want should be provided by them by their parents and, subsequently, society. They believe that they can act any way that they feel like acting and while owing respect to know one, should be respected by all others be they parents, teachers, whomever.

When, after years of this treatment, someone finally had the backbone to stand up to these little tyrants they were met with tantrums, outrage and just outright hatred. Parents fled from their mistakes like wounded combatants. Outraged, discouraged and confused. €But,€ they were heard to say amidst their pain tears and self loathing, €we gave them everything they could ever want. And not only are they not grateful, they seem to hate us maybe even more that we hated our parents."

Families become dysfunctional as all parties look for someone to blame. Therapists are brought to the scene, frequently to no avail, and parents spend long nights wondering, €What did we do wrong?€
The answer is simple, you were too little the parent or teacher, and too much the year-round Santa Claus, cruise director and cheerleader. Narcissistic entitlement creates human beings that are angry, bitter and, to marked degree, dysfunctional.

They can't be a good friend because the very nature of friendship is caring for others in a world that the child had been taught was all about them. They can't feel happy for anyone else's possessions or achievements or applause because they have been taught from a young age that all of that belongs to them. A generation of parents who wanted their child to get a trophy also even if they finished last spawned a generation of children who knew not the agony of defeat, but neither could they know the joy of true victory and achievement.

These children grew up and found themselves unable to function in a relationship, follow instructions given them by teachers and professors, or carry out work assignments that they see as beneath them. In the severest cases they became bitter, angry and alone.
These children now try blaming all their grief of course on whom? Their loving parents.

Then when all seemed lost something else happened that helped bring them out of their depression and low self esteem for a season.

They became parents. They quickly become determined to see that their children didn't have to suffer like they did with their parents. And the cycle began again€¦