Many people are actually unaware that they are in a toxic relationship.
Here are some signs: - Your partner verbally abuses you in front of friends - Your partner's words of love are not matched by what they actually do - Your partner is a control freak - You have to constantly change to suit them - You cannot go out without them So how does it happen? After all, no one wants to be in a relationship with someone who doesn't let them be them self, and more than that, someone who they are scared of.
The thing is, toxic relationships take time to evolve.
When you first meet there is a honeymoon period while the relationship beds down.
At first you don't notice the way the other partner is starting to exert control, or if you do you let them out of love.
After all, you're not thinking that this person is going to make your life hell are you? Then you do something and your partner explodes.
They can rant and rave.
Or even resort to threats and in some cases physical violence.
Then they appear to change and there is a reconciliation which lasts for a while, then the process start again.
By now, it's difficult to leave the relationship.
Often these abusers, for that is what they are in practice, start by making their victim completely reliant on them.
They may have to give up their job etc, and that is why it can be so hard to leave.
To everyone else, including the family, they are charming.
No one believes the abused when they talk about the abuser, making it very hard to escape.
Although it is often hard to leave a toxic relationship, many people who stay in these relationships often suffer from such things as low self esteem which may be rooted in childhood experiences.
In fact, many of those who find themselves in toxic relationships have experienced toxic relationships in childhood, and are merely repeating patterns of behaviour from then, or even believe that they don't deserve to be happy.
However, it is possible to get out of such a relationship.
Firstly it has to be recognised for what it is, which may be an eventual self realisation, or a chat with a close friend who may be worried and show them the light.
The next thing is to no longer accept that everything is the fault of the abused.
This is fundamental to a toxic relationship; the abuser blames everything on the abused.
Once this illusion is dispelled it is much easier for the abused to see the reality of their situation.
There are also therapy classes available to help people cope and give support to those in, or leaving a toxic relationship.