By MaryAnna Donovan
Valentines Day: Ah, the sweet memories of candy-hearts and valentines exchanged in grammar school, the excitement of getting the I love you valentine from that very special someone and holding hands during the Valentines Day roller skating party.
Valentines Day: And now its loneliness and dread because now were not in grammar school, were not going to get the I love you valentine, and wed kill ourselves if we ever tried to roller skate.
So youre over 55, so what? So what that youre widowed or divorced? So what that you have a few wrinkles here and there, a few pounds in between? Do these things mean youre condemned to be alone forever? No way.
But what do you do now? Where do you begin? Granted, the process of dating at our age can seem a bit like a song in minor key. Most of us are riddled with a case of the not quites: not quite fat, not quite skinny, not quite rich, not quite poor, not quite successful, not quite unsuccessful.
Now, heres a secret: what you see as a not quite in yourself is in fact a wildly attractive quality to someone out there.
But you definitely need to rid yourself of that not quite mindset. You need to see yourself as a person with a rich and robust life who has a treasure trove of great stuff to offer!
Time for some attitude adjustment, my friends. Follow the steps below and become re-acquainted with your beautiful self.
1.To thine own self be true: Work on yourself. Do what makes you feel good. Go get your hair styled and colored. Get a pedicure or manicure. Buy a new outfit that makes you feel fabulous. Start an exercise program or ramp up your current one. Eat better. Take hot baths at night. Surround yourself with candlelight. Put on some music and sip a glass of your favorite wine. You will simply not believe how much better and more confident youll feel.
2.Decide what you want in a person: This is your game, and dont you forget it. Youve lived a full and wonderful life, albeit with a few relationship humps to get over. But its time for happiness. Make a list of what you want in a person. Make another list of what you dont want. Put the two lists away and every time you meet someone, pull them out and take a read.
3.Decide what you want in a relationship: Get this clear in your head from the get-go. Do you want marriage? A casual friendship? A roommate? Your plan can always change, but its better to have a plan than to get swept along by the raging love current.
4.Think about where youll be most comfortable meeting people: To decide, you might want to talk to people your age to find out their feelings about the different options. Talk to someone who has done online dating and someone who has met someone in a more conventional way. If youre thinking about online dating, there are even a few, highly regarded sites just for seniors: www.laavalife.com and www.seniorsfriendfinder.com
5.Be positive: Oh how important this one is and thats why to thine own self is so critical. If youre not being positive in the way you treat yourself, your outlook is certainly going to reflect that. So get rid of those negative thoughts about yourself, your past marriage(s), your life. For every time you think something negative, counter it with the polar positive of the same thought.
Who the heck am I do be telling you all this? Ive been in the singles chair a few times in my life, and not when I was just a sweet young thing. After many, many, many disappointments, lots of drama, and several dead-ends, I found my life partner. And yes, I found him online. And yes, were both 55. And yes, Im 510 and hes 56. And yes, hes deaf and Im hearing. But you know what? It works. And you know what else? Were looking forward to Valentines Day, and I promise you can too.
In addition to being an author, Donovan was a college professor and taught writing and literature courses for 10 years.
During that time, she met scores of young people who provided inspiration.
Donovans unique style of writing as well as her never-ending candor and wit will make readers think twice before clicking the mouse once.
Valentines Day: Ah, the sweet memories of candy-hearts and valentines exchanged in grammar school, the excitement of getting the I love you valentine from that very special someone and holding hands during the Valentines Day roller skating party.
Valentines Day: And now its loneliness and dread because now were not in grammar school, were not going to get the I love you valentine, and wed kill ourselves if we ever tried to roller skate.
So youre over 55, so what? So what that youre widowed or divorced? So what that you have a few wrinkles here and there, a few pounds in between? Do these things mean youre condemned to be alone forever? No way.
But what do you do now? Where do you begin? Granted, the process of dating at our age can seem a bit like a song in minor key. Most of us are riddled with a case of the not quites: not quite fat, not quite skinny, not quite rich, not quite poor, not quite successful, not quite unsuccessful.
Now, heres a secret: what you see as a not quite in yourself is in fact a wildly attractive quality to someone out there.
But you definitely need to rid yourself of that not quite mindset. You need to see yourself as a person with a rich and robust life who has a treasure trove of great stuff to offer!
Time for some attitude adjustment, my friends. Follow the steps below and become re-acquainted with your beautiful self.
1.To thine own self be true: Work on yourself. Do what makes you feel good. Go get your hair styled and colored. Get a pedicure or manicure. Buy a new outfit that makes you feel fabulous. Start an exercise program or ramp up your current one. Eat better. Take hot baths at night. Surround yourself with candlelight. Put on some music and sip a glass of your favorite wine. You will simply not believe how much better and more confident youll feel.
2.Decide what you want in a person: This is your game, and dont you forget it. Youve lived a full and wonderful life, albeit with a few relationship humps to get over. But its time for happiness. Make a list of what you want in a person. Make another list of what you dont want. Put the two lists away and every time you meet someone, pull them out and take a read.
3.Decide what you want in a relationship: Get this clear in your head from the get-go. Do you want marriage? A casual friendship? A roommate? Your plan can always change, but its better to have a plan than to get swept along by the raging love current.
4.Think about where youll be most comfortable meeting people: To decide, you might want to talk to people your age to find out their feelings about the different options. Talk to someone who has done online dating and someone who has met someone in a more conventional way. If youre thinking about online dating, there are even a few, highly regarded sites just for seniors: www.laavalife.com and www.seniorsfriendfinder.com
5.Be positive: Oh how important this one is and thats why to thine own self is so critical. If youre not being positive in the way you treat yourself, your outlook is certainly going to reflect that. So get rid of those negative thoughts about yourself, your past marriage(s), your life. For every time you think something negative, counter it with the polar positive of the same thought.
Who the heck am I do be telling you all this? Ive been in the singles chair a few times in my life, and not when I was just a sweet young thing. After many, many, many disappointments, lots of drama, and several dead-ends, I found my life partner. And yes, I found him online. And yes, were both 55. And yes, Im 510 and hes 56. And yes, hes deaf and Im hearing. But you know what? It works. And you know what else? Were looking forward to Valentines Day, and I promise you can too.
In addition to being an author, Donovan was a college professor and taught writing and literature courses for 10 years.
During that time, she met scores of young people who provided inspiration.
Donovans unique style of writing as well as her never-ending candor and wit will make readers think twice before clicking the mouse once.
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