Conflicting targets can easily become personal dislike.
Teamwork stops working.
Talent is squandered as people disengage from their particular work.
And it's easy to end up in a horrible downward spiral of negative thoughts and recrimination.
If you are to keep your group or organization working properly, you must end this downward spiral as early as you can.
One way to curb disagreement is actually to restate just what the other person is expressing.
Reflective listening demonstrates that we care enough to hear the other person out, instead of just concentrating on our own viewpoint.
It really fosters empathy.
A husband described how he used reflective listening during the time he wandered to the center of a screaming match involving his ex-wife and teen-aged kid.
No sooner had he went to the door that the boy and mother erupted into war.
Normally the hubby would have yelled for them to stop, only to be pulled into the fray.
This time around, he took a deep breath, collected his feelings, and selected his words carefully.
He calmly asked them each if they could let him know what exactly had transpired.
Then he reflected back on what they said.
The husband's willingness to listen helped them to listen too.
They were in fact able to come to a bargain, a thing that before was not possible.
In the bulk of conflicts, both sides have some level of obligation.
However, most of us tend to blame instead of looking at our own part in the dilemma.
When we assume responsibility we transfer the conflict into an entirely different gear, one in which resolution is possible.
There was this wife who talked about how taking responsibility averted a key falling-out with her hubby.
They were getting ready to travel to a family party, and as usual, the particular girl was running late.
When the husband spotted her puttering about inside the living room, he totally lost it.
With the sound of his irritated voice, she reacted defensively, and then we were on to an ugly confrontation.
But this time around, rather than entering a defensive posture, the wife went aside for a couple of moments, got some strong breaths, and acquired her bearings.
As soon as she strolled back to the room she was in a position to hear him out.
He explained that he was very frustrated at having to wait for her every time they went out.
Conflict Resolution is wonderful for every person.
He also spoke about punctuality as something he greatly treasured.
As she listened to his words a funny thing happened: she realized he was right.
She did need to get a handle on her habitual lateness.
It was then that she apologized.
The man wound up giving the girl a hug and saying thanks to her.
What could have become a full-blown fight actually turned into a moment of drawing closer for the both of them.