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Among the critics I spoke with, Erick Zonca's Julia was nearly as controversial as Tropa de Elite. Tilda Swinton plays the title character, a hopeless alcoholic who ends up kidnapping a child. Perhaps because of the frequent warnings about how unlikable she is (Stephanie Zacharek called the film "insufferable"), I found Swinton's revealing portrait of an unredeemably selfish lost soul surprisingly sympathetic.

No matter how truly awful she behaves -- guzzling vodka while she's trying to pull off the "double cross of a liftime," tying the kidnapped boy (Aiden Gould) to radiators -- Swinton's fearless, unflattering performance (she's in every scene) made it impossible for me to look away. The narrative takes wild turns and plows forward into unsuspected territory, even if it means crashing through the border fence into Mexico. The film's refusal to make compromises, in terms of likable characters or a predictable story, won me over -- even if it means that Julia will have an especially difficult time finding U.S. distribution.

I capped my Berlinale with Mike Leigh's Happy Go Lucky, for which Sally Hawkins won a Silver Bear for Best Actress. A cheerful portrait a London school teacher who goes by Poppy and faces life with remarkable optimism and goodwill, the episodic movie certainly stays true to its title. Poppy's chatty ease at navigating her world made for a welcome chaser to Swinton's catastrophic Julia, but Happy Go Lucky's laughs far outweigh its insights.

All said and done, I watched close to forty movies in 10 days, give or take a few walkouts. Wildly different from one another, my favorites are all the product of the unique vision of an auteur or inspired performer: Wakamatsu Konji's United Red Army, Hong Sang-soo's Night and Day, Naoko Ogigami's Megane, Johnny To's Sparrow and Klaus Kinski in Jesus Christ Savior. Each of these films also provided some of the festival's most durable images: a beautiful girl ruining her own face with a barrage of well-aimed punches, a cigarette passing between lips in a white convertible, a pig's snout pressing against a basement window, a furious man in purple pants, standing alone in the limelight.

A few noteworthy surprises: Heavy Metal in Baghdad had more to say about the power -- and limits -- of rock'n roll than Martin Scorsese's Rolling Stones show Shine a Light; adolescent dancers (Another Love Story) and pickpockets (Sparrow) offered more rhythm and grace than the pros in Madonna's Filth and Wisdom. The weight of the past found a more haunting expression in Aditya Assarat's Wonderful Town than Andrzej Wajda's Oscar-nominated Katyn, and Moritz Bleibtreu (Chiko) had more success smuggling drugs than Ben Kingsley (Transsiberian.)

Children were robbed by Tilda Swinton (Julia) and Tom Arnold (Gardens of the Night), but it took Kristin Scott Thomas to kill her own son (I've Loved You So Long). I also confirmed that Mexicans (Lake Tahoe) and Italians (Quiet Chaos) handle grief with a lighter touch than Germans (Kirschblüten). No surprise at all: Penelope Cruz looks good naked (Elegy), being poor sucks (Ballast), war is still hell (Standard Operating Procedure), hope dies last (In Love We Trust) and revenge is a bad idea (Lady Jane, Leo, Black Ice.)

It'll take more than a good night's sleep, a New York bagel, and the relative comfort of my own desk to completely recover from the exhilarating ordeal that was Berlin 2008. Looking back over the list -- sorted by preference below -- I would be surprised if even half of the movies I liked or loved found their way into American theaters. That sad fact alone is enough to make the trip worthwhile.

1. United Red Army. Wakamatsu Koji, 2007. ****
2. Night and Day. Hong Sang-soo, 2008. ****
3. Megane. Naoko Ogigami, 2007, ****
4. Jesus Christ Savior. Peter Geyer, 2008. ****
5. Sparrow. Johnny To, 2008. ****
6. Wonderful Town. Aditya Assarat, 2007. ****
7. Quiet Chaos. Antonio Luigi Grimaldi, 2008. ****
8. Black Ice. Petri Kotwica, 2007. *** 1/2
9. Julia. Erick Zonca, 2007. *** 1/2
10. Another Love Story. Lúcia Murat, 2007. *** 1/2
11. Auge in Auge. Michael Althen and Hans Helmut Prinzler, 2008. *** 1/2
12. Transsiberian. Brad Anderson, 2008. *** 1/2
13. Gegenschuss. Dominik Wessely, 2008. ***
14. Heavy Metal in Baghdad. Suroosh Alvi and Eddy Moretti, 2007. ***
15. I've Loved You So Long. Philippe Claudel, 2008. ***
16. Katyn. Andrzeij Wajda, 2007. ***
17. Filth and Wisdom. Madonna, 2008. ***
18. Be Kind Rewind. Michel Gondry, 2008. ***
19. Chiko. Özgür Yildirim, 2008. ***
20. Happy-Go-Lucky. Mike Leigh, 2008. ***
21. Lake Tahoe. Fernando Eimbcke, 2008. ***
22. Standard Operating Procedure. Errol Morris, 2008. ***
23. Gardens of the Night Damian Harris, 2007. ***
24. Elegy. Isabel Coixet, 2008. ***
25. Kirschblüten - Hanami. Dorris Dörrie, 2008. **
26. The Other Boleyn Girl. Justin Chadwick, 2008. **
27. Shine a Light. Martin Scorsese, 2008. **
28. Lady Jane. Robert Guédiguian, 2008. **
29. Shiver. Isidro Ortiz, 2008. **
30. In Love We Trust. Wang Xiaoshuai, 2007. **
31. Ballast. Lance Hammer, 2008. *
32. Beautiful. Jaihong Juhn, 2008. *
33. Elite Squad. José Padilha, 2007 *
34. Coupable. Laetitia Masson, 2008. N/R
35. Asyl -Park and Love Hotel. Kumasaka Izuru, 2007. N/R
36. Restless. Amos Kollek, 2008. N/R
37. Leo. Josef Fares, 2007. N/R
38. Divizionz. Yes! That's Us, 2007. N/R
39. Yasukuni. Li Ying, 2007. N/R