Regaining Trust In A Marriage Relationship
In regaining trust,the person who cheated needs to be open in all of their activites and actions. It is no longer his little secret. So now being open demonstrates honesty and the change must be obvious from previous behavior.
As the victim, you have no idea whether your spouse telling you the truth or not. Or if their attempts of being open are just a show solely for your benefit. Granted you do not need /or want to be his parent and monitor his every action but the thrill is over. If both of you work at it, there is a much better chance of regaining trust in your marriage when there is a continuing practice of openness, especially right now.
If you have been cheated on and communication is close to non existant, being open will help in getting over this hurdle. You need to get back on track within the marriage. Both spouses need to navigate to meet in the middle—where you can have the means to regain trust in your relationship.
Here are steps to help you and your spouse regain that trust and use it to work as the foundation in your marriage.
Step 1: Establish an open and free exchange of information
This practice shows that you want to share information freely with your spouse. Tell about your activities. What your daily life consists of. What your plans are for now and in the future. This information is offered before it is asked for, and in this manner it doesn't feel as though you are being forced to do so.
Step 2: Putting open exchange to work-"Nothing to hide"
Say you have made plans after work to stop for happy hour on the way home. Out of common courtesy, you would call your spouse to let them know of your plans without going overboard. Your spouse may have has additional questions,oh lets say like who will be there. You should be willing to answer any question that is asked, because....wait for it....you have "Nothing to hide."
Step 3: Know what the open exchange is not
It is not a means of controlling either spouse. It is simply a matter of respect. You are married, and any actions you do, positive or negative, affects your spouse. Maybe he had a nice evening planned for you. Or maybe she had to run an errand and needed you to be home with the kids. When you share your plans you regain trust by showing your spouse that you respect them and understand that they have a life, also.
By following these steps, your lines of communication will be uncluttered by attempts to hide or manipulate information. You will just be stating the facts.
As the victim, you have no idea whether your spouse telling you the truth or not. Or if their attempts of being open are just a show solely for your benefit. Granted you do not need /or want to be his parent and monitor his every action but the thrill is over. If both of you work at it, there is a much better chance of regaining trust in your marriage when there is a continuing practice of openness, especially right now.
If you have been cheated on and communication is close to non existant, being open will help in getting over this hurdle. You need to get back on track within the marriage. Both spouses need to navigate to meet in the middle—where you can have the means to regain trust in your relationship.
Here are steps to help you and your spouse regain that trust and use it to work as the foundation in your marriage.
Step 1: Establish an open and free exchange of information
This practice shows that you want to share information freely with your spouse. Tell about your activities. What your daily life consists of. What your plans are for now and in the future. This information is offered before it is asked for, and in this manner it doesn't feel as though you are being forced to do so.
Step 2: Putting open exchange to work-"Nothing to hide"
Say you have made plans after work to stop for happy hour on the way home. Out of common courtesy, you would call your spouse to let them know of your plans without going overboard. Your spouse may have has additional questions,oh lets say like who will be there. You should be willing to answer any question that is asked, because....wait for it....you have "Nothing to hide."
Step 3: Know what the open exchange is not
It is not a means of controlling either spouse. It is simply a matter of respect. You are married, and any actions you do, positive or negative, affects your spouse. Maybe he had a nice evening planned for you. Or maybe she had to run an errand and needed you to be home with the kids. When you share your plans you regain trust by showing your spouse that you respect them and understand that they have a life, also.
By following these steps, your lines of communication will be uncluttered by attempts to hide or manipulate information. You will just be stating the facts.
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