Love is everywhere you look.
Popular culture sure makes it seem that way.
It's no wonder people have a hard time separating love from lust; nearly everything praised as love in the movies, in music, and on television is closer to lust than love.
Here is how to tell if you are really in love.
You respect their differences Think about your loved one.
What comes to mind? This is an important test of the kind of relationship you have.
If it is a new relationship, you'll likely have a lot of fun, physical, and emotional memories to draw from.
If you've been in a relationship for a while, you'll likely have some bad memories in with the good.
Can you tell what makes your partner who they are? Do you like those things, or just tolerate them? The person you're with now is the person they'll always be.
It is possible for people to change, but personal change doesn't come because someone else wants it to happen.
If you're ignoring the difficult or different parts of your partner so that you can continue to have the exciting ones, you are in for a disappointment.
They are still going to have those differences when the excitement wears off.
If, however, you love the things that make your partner different, difficult, and unique, you've got a good chance of having a lasting loving relationship together.
You are loving even when you fight The way a couple fights is a good indication of their true feelings for each other and of their level of maturity in general.
When you love someone, you try and build the relationship even when you're fighting.
You try and understand the other person's point of view, and you're willing to make changes in yourself and make sacrifices to make the relationship work.
Love doesn't hit below the belt.
If your relationship is made up of steamy bedroom scenes and equally spicy fights, there is a chance you are dealing with lust and not love.
You are still yourself Can you tell where you stop and your partner begins? When you're so close to another person that you stop being yourself, what you are feeling is called enmeshment.
Enmeshment is not love.
It feels intoxicating and fast and all-consuming, and when it wears off, it can leave you feeling lost and confused.
Try to make sure to hold on to yourself during the early weeks and months of a relationship.
The goal is not to dive into another person, rather it is to experience them while retaining your identity.
If you give over your identity to your partner, you won't have a foundation upon which to build a lasting, loving relationship.
Leave the bedroom Lastly, if you want to know if you are dealing with love and not just lust, you'll have to get dressed and leave the bedroom for at least a few hours.
Love can include white-hot physical chemistry, but there has to be more for it to build upon.
Ask your partner to come along while you do some things that remind you of who you are.
Better yet, get some physical distance from them and watch what happens to the relationship.
Lust can be a good place for love to take hold if you remember to hold on to yourself, as well.