You wake up one morning and freak out--there's a lump in your breast.
You've read all of the stories and seen all of the news reports.
The big C word comes to mind.
You know that most women who get breast cancer are older than 40 and you are in your 30s.
But your mind races to your friends' faces, friends who have had mastectomies while they were younger than 40...
and who had no family history of the disease.
Your insides feel squishy but your heart rate is soaring.
You try to calm yourself as, with your hands shaking, you dial your OB-GYN.
"I found a lump," you say.
"I need to see you today.
" And your doctor, who understands what you are going through, asks you to come in right away.
After seeing the doctor, you are sent for a sonogram or maybe a mammogram, or maybe even both.
The lump is solid, but it moves when manipulated by the doctor's fingers.
She is certain it is not a cyst, since it is too solid and the attempt at needle aspiration didn't work.
The core-needle biopsy comes next.
You waver between negative thoughts and positive ones, on an emotional roller coaster.
Your friends and family assure you everything will be fine.
You wish you could be so certain.
But the call the next day is better than expected--no cancer.
What you have is a fibroadenoma, a firm, non-cancerous tumor of the gland.
You'll have to go back to the doctor's or breast center for repeated ultrasounds, about every six months, to check its status and so the doctors can keep track of its growth rate.
The doctors seem to be taking a "wait and see approach", which you aren't sure is re-assuring; but you try to convince yourself, if they aren't worried, you shouldn't be either.
Over the next few weeks, you search the Net to learn all you can.
WebMD says it is smooth, round and painless.
You disagree, especially around your period when the tumor downright hurts.
You do more research and talk to more friends.
One friend confessed to having surgery twice to remove hers.
She said they grew almost golf ball size and were very painful.
And according to Dr.
Susan Love's Breast Book by Susan M.
Love, M.
D.
(Perseus Books), fibroadenomas "can vary in size from a tiny five millimeters to a lemon-sized five centimeters.
" You're glad yours is on the smaller ender of that scale.
One thing the doctor did tell you was to get off the Pill.
It seems the estrogen in birth control pills could make the tumor's size increase.
And you don't want to take any chances with that.
You continue to do research and you feel a little more reassured when you read the line "Fibroadenomas are harmless in themselves, and they don't have to be removed...
" in Dr.
Love's book.
That is your plan of attack: only have surgery if it gets too painful or becomes absolutely necessary.
In the meantime, you look for preventative measures, since though Dr.
Love writes, "In most cases a woman has only one fibroadenoma; it's removed, and she never gets any more.
But some women do get several over their lives--and a few women get many of them.
" You don't want to be one of those women.
Even if preventative measures haven't been scientifically proven, you figure if it doesn't hurt you, maybe it will help.
You switch to a non-hormone method of birth control.
Your doctor suggested cutting out caffeine so you drink decaffeinated green tea, since it is supposed to be filled with antioxidants.
According to the book Breast Health: The Natural Way, by Deborah Mitchell and Deborah Gordon, M.
D.
(John Wiley and Sons), "Green tea contains high levels of polyphenols, substances that neutralize free radicals associated with cancer, and is a rich source of antioxidants.
Green tea protects against breast cancer by preventing initiation of cancer growth.
" You also try to cut out sugars and add more leafy vegetables and soy products.
Soy products have been touted for the last decade as containing phytoestrogens (much weaker than the female sex hormone of estrogen.
) Scientists at Wayne State University School of Medicine in Detroit demonstrated how genistein, a phytoestrogen found in soy products, inhibits growth of certain breast cancer cells.
You know you don't have breast cancer, and that fibroadenomas don't in any way predispose you to cancer, but you are taking precautions.
As Dr.
Love writes, fibroadenomas are a nuisance, and they can scare you into thinking you might have cancer--but that's the only bad things about them.
" You know that.
So, in addition to the changes you are making in your diet, the biggest change of all is in your attitude.
No longer do you take things for granted.
Your initial scare and panic has made you realize how much you take your health for granted.
You vow to be better to yourself, to not allow yourself to get so stressed out all of the time.
You promise yourself you'll take better care of your body, maybe get a facial or massage occasionally.
To soak in the tub and relax with a good book.
To play with your kids and to appreciate your spouse more.
But most of all, to count your blessings.
You will get through this, and in the grand scheme of things, it may not be that big of a deal.