How to Fix Marriage Problems
- 1). Avoid addressing more than three issues, concerns or grievances when discussing or negotiating with your spouse during any single instance or conversation. Focus on the primary grievance(s) with the appropriate amount of concentration, effort and goal setting necessary to wholly resolve the issue.
- 2). Abandon smaller issues for more significant changes and goals that will have a stronger and more substantial impact on the foundation of the marriage. Bring issues to the table that, if examined and improved, will strengthen how you and your spouse function as a couple. Think in terms of improving communication, trust and intimacy.
- 3). Communicate using actionable, specific and neutral language when discussing problems. Avoid assigning blame or moving too far from the fact(s) of the point you wish to communicate. Take responsibility for the judgments, disappointments, inadequacies or resentments that you may feel. Explain how these emotions express your desire for specific behaviors to be changed within the relationship.
- 4). Agree to disagree. Avoid lasting arguments that cannot be resolved after one or two conversations. If the issue is of no great concern to the framework of the relationship, agree to disagree and let it go. Acknowledge that on some issues, you and your spouse will just not always be aligned one 100 percent.
- 5). Agree to listen with 100 percent focus. Listen without pre-judgments or guidelines about "how" your spouse should communicate, respond or interpret an issue. Just listen and process the information that is communicated. Respond accordingly and with respect.
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