How to Deal With a Control Freak
The term 'Control Freak' conjures up the image of a personality we have all come across at some time or another.
The application of the word 'Freak' implies in itself an abnormal behavioual trait, which indeed it is.
In some people, the inability to control their own controlling nature causes them long term distress, as the addiction to controlling others intensifies with age, especially concerning those in whom they have invested affection, such as friends or family members.
For those who find themselves living with such a person in their daily life, a certain escape from the confines of the relationship is imperative to avoid a claustrophobic existence and the breakdown of the friendship, relationship or even marriage.
In extreme cases of control addiction, it is pointless to argue with the sufferer as to why they must not do this or that.
Such a conflictual approach often brings about an exacerbation of the problem, making things infinitely worse.
That is not to say that such behaviour must always be overlooked and tolerated.
However, there is a definite advantage in raising the subject of a sufferer´s controlling habits some time after the incident has taken place; hours or even days.
By that time, the sufferer will have calmed down, feel less threatened by being taken to task for his or her unreasonable attitude and be more receptive to recognising the unacceptability of their behaviour.
Confronting a control addict with his or her desire to overturn someone else´s right to decide is a difficult task.
By their very nature, such people have difficulty putting themselves in someone else´s shoes.
Kid gloves are always the best approach.
Gentle reminding is better than the out and out ´Who the hell do you think you are' tactic.
Conversely, such people are often highly intelligent and able to see controlling antics in other people without difficulty; they merely have a problem recognising it in themselves.
Turning their opinions around can take years of patient, affectionate, handling.
Always meet angry confrontation from such people with a gentle but firm and polite refusal to be badgered.
Never, never have a stand up argument, especially before other people, and always remember to remark how much nicer things are when your controller displays more reasonable behaviour.
Slowly, they will come to agree that your way is better.
Never deliberately attract an angry response, no matter how tempting it is to vent your own frustration.
The application of the word 'Freak' implies in itself an abnormal behavioual trait, which indeed it is.
In some people, the inability to control their own controlling nature causes them long term distress, as the addiction to controlling others intensifies with age, especially concerning those in whom they have invested affection, such as friends or family members.
For those who find themselves living with such a person in their daily life, a certain escape from the confines of the relationship is imperative to avoid a claustrophobic existence and the breakdown of the friendship, relationship or even marriage.
In extreme cases of control addiction, it is pointless to argue with the sufferer as to why they must not do this or that.
Such a conflictual approach often brings about an exacerbation of the problem, making things infinitely worse.
That is not to say that such behaviour must always be overlooked and tolerated.
However, there is a definite advantage in raising the subject of a sufferer´s controlling habits some time after the incident has taken place; hours or even days.
By that time, the sufferer will have calmed down, feel less threatened by being taken to task for his or her unreasonable attitude and be more receptive to recognising the unacceptability of their behaviour.
Confronting a control addict with his or her desire to overturn someone else´s right to decide is a difficult task.
By their very nature, such people have difficulty putting themselves in someone else´s shoes.
Kid gloves are always the best approach.
Gentle reminding is better than the out and out ´Who the hell do you think you are' tactic.
Conversely, such people are often highly intelligent and able to see controlling antics in other people without difficulty; they merely have a problem recognising it in themselves.
Turning their opinions around can take years of patient, affectionate, handling.
Always meet angry confrontation from such people with a gentle but firm and polite refusal to be badgered.
Never, never have a stand up argument, especially before other people, and always remember to remark how much nicer things are when your controller displays more reasonable behaviour.
Slowly, they will come to agree that your way is better.
Never deliberately attract an angry response, no matter how tempting it is to vent your own frustration.
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