I asked a colleague recently about one of the intelligent decisions he's made in life and he did not hesitate to give me answer.
He said: "decision not to rush into marriage" and I thought that was a good decision because even though conditions may not be favorable, people have already set time for their marriage so they must marry.
I do perfectly agree with my working colleague because I find myself in the same condition and I could to some extent; interpret some of his reasons relating it to mine.
Normally when men are above thirty years and are not married, the reasons could be similar.
The first reason could be that, despite our differences in human attitudes we have not walked into the right woman because the woman who is your rib or soul mate as one of my Aunties put it, would be able to tolerate what others cannot.
I tend to agree with her because; I have seen people that are perceived to be the most difficult in terms of human relations marry eventually.
Critics and humans in general turn to see the speck in somebody's eyes but not theirs and over criticize human actions as if there's nothing good in the person.
But the one who loves you sees your good aspects and is comfortable with it because at the end of the day, you're also destined to marry.
And meeting the right woman does not mean you make attempts in wooing or proposing to any attractive thing you see.
For all you know what you go in to woo might not be destined for you even though she may have the good looks you're expecting and you may be secure in every sense to cater for her.
Marriage goes beyond that and thrives more on mutual sharing of genuine love, understanding, wealth and properties.
Something must bring you together and that fosters compatibility.
The second reason most of the time is the readiness and preparation.
People sometimes believe that, preparation must take place amongst the two but am sorry to say that it's not always true.
People are fortunate to meet people who are convenient and comfortable with their partners' position in life and true love which is the foundation of marriage encourages them to get along.
I mean you happen to meet the lady when you're at that stage in life and there's been nothing you could do so you got along.
A responsible guy who finds himself in such a situation may even regulate and control the relationship so he could put certain fundamental plans in place because man! You're the man ooo.
When financial challenges begin to rage storms in the marriage and the lady is not supportive with her business or she's even bankrupt, all eyes will be on you.
That means you must get a responsible woman who is adventurous and thoughtful to help you plan for these things.
This is the major reason you must not rush.
Let your needs and value expectations determine the kind of woman you go in for.
Human beings have peculiar problems and issues.
You are the only one who knows yourself better than anybody.
There are people who are infertile to child bearing and have remained a secret they do not want to get close to anyone to discover.
I mean how do you disclose this secret to an impatient person? It is not everyone who can accept such a case.
This is the reason you must be cautious in your approach when you have lost your power and confidence.
Let God lead you more in such situations.
He's an omnipotent God.
May be a miracle can burst forth.
Others are faced with chronic ailments that have seen medical attention but have not been healed so are going through a management process.
People have severe chronic headaches which they're managing alone under the circumstance and the proposed partner must be aware of such sensitive issues and decide if she's accepting or not.
Some of the headaches could be so severe it does affect the thought pattern of the person and goes with lots of irritation, anxiety, desperation and depression yet the person is walking on two feet.
This is a situation he's managing alone.
The question is: How will he manage when they're two and you don't own yourself anymore? The person must exercise discipline over such situations if he wants to marry or the other partner understands his change of moods and with love, gradually begins to find an antidote.
Some too are faced with severe heart problems which strike at odd times.
It is unannounced when it's resurfacing and may sometimes disgrace in public.
Some people suffer undue tension in the midst of conversation due traumatic situations they've experienced in time past and can freeze up so they will not go into the midst of people.
It takes a partner who genuinely loves him to say: "this is something trivial dear, I love you and I can help you fight it".
A woman with this statement will be a far better mate than anything and it's a good sign of a compatible relationship.
These are some of the reasons I have not rushed into marriage yet likewise my friend and they're quiet genuine.
When two people are dwelling under one roof and it is not done in an atmosphere of openness and frankness, problems are exposed and become a revelation which can lead to a break.
If you're faced with such complex issues, it is important not to invite people or throw yourself on people.
Let someone realize something good in you and despite your withdrawal, let them approach and get closer.
Say the truth in openness and frankness when you realize a genuine interest in you.
If she genuinely loves you, then you must not hide anything.
It is much safer.