Since conflict is inevitable, even the best of relationships must find ways to deal with it.
It is not the fact that there is conflict that destroys relationships; it is the way in which we handle conflict that tears relationships apart.
The following are four powerful keys that can help you get from conflict to peace in your relationship.
Avoid Throwing Blame.
It is easy to choose to blame and withhold love from your partner when you feel hurt and feel completely justified in doing so.
However, that choice will increase the wedge between you.
Choose to accept responsibility for your own behavior.
Control your own actions and words.
Accept and love your partner and make positive, specific requests of them rather than throw angry tirades at them.
When Things Get Heated Take A Time-Out.
Laurence Peter wisely said, "Speak when you are angry - and you will make the best speech you'll ever regret.
" We can and should apologize for words spoken in anger, but how much better would it be to not say them at all.
An apology often does little to erase the hurtful words that are burned into your partner's memory.
Time-outs are a vital tool for protecting your relationship.
Use them wisely Be Generous, Especially When You Do Not Feel Like It.
Are you feeling disconnected from your partner? Do you sometimes feel like strangers in your relationship? If you are starting to wonder where the loving feelings have gone, it is time to be generous.
The most important time to be generous in long-term relationships is when you least feel like being generous.
Change the way you are seeing things from hostility to hospitality.
Remember that this is the person that you love.
Transform Your Conflict By Changing The Way Your View The Problem.
Learn to see your problem as something outside of the two of you.
Come together as a team, put the two of you on one side of the table and your problem on the other side of the table.
Instead of treating each other as the problem, work together to find the solution to the problem.