Maybe you are telling yourself that you would do anything to try to get your ex back. Maybe you regret many of the things that you've said and done. If you could do things over again you would surely do things differently but apologizing just doesn't seem to be cutting the mustard with your ex. How do you get that second chance? What can you say and do to get that second chance and once you do get that second chance what should you do differently?

First, let's start by saying that getting your ex back really isn't all that difficult. The problem that most people run into when trying to get their ex back is that they just try too hard and they do all the wrong things. I'll share with you in a bit how you can open that door and actually get your ex back but first you need to understand what led to your breakup and what you need to change.

Often in a relationship it is a slow downward spiral that leads to the breakup. If you look back you can probably say that you weren't terribly happy in the final days of your relationship. There was probably a lot of tension and chances are you knew what was coming. It might not have been until your ex told you that you needed to have that talk that you actually believed that you were going to break up but you knew that things weren't great. Maybe there had been some arguing or maybe you could feel that there was some unhappiness on the part of your partner but you never thought that you would be broken up like this. You never thought that you would actually split up but here you are.

No matter what reason your ex gave you for the breakup, the real reason had something to do with how you made your partner feel. Maybe they didn't feel loved or they didn't feel that closeness that you once shared. Maybe you had been too busy for them or you didn't appreciate them or you weren't showing them the affection that they wanted or needed. Or maybe there was tension and animosity between the two of you that had created a wall of negative emotions and now you feel that things are doomed. Things are not doomed though. Far from it. People can and do get back together every day and you can yours can be one of those couples some day soon.

To begin with, the first thing that you need to do is step back and evaluate your relationship. Stop trying to force your will upon your partner and stop trying to convince them that they were wrong by breaking up with you or continually trying to get them back, Start things off on a new foot right now and give them the respect that they deserve. If you truly love your partner you will give them the time and space to be alone with their feelings. This breakup was every bit as difficult on them as it has been on you. Be a little selfless and try to understand where they are coming from.

Try to put yourself in your ex's shoes over the next few days. Remember what they had said to you in the days of weeks leading up to your breakup. How did you react? Were you cold and indifferent or did you lash out at them and tell them that they were wrong or that they misunderstood you? Or did you try to understand the underlying emotions that your partner was feeling and did you try to see how the things that you said and did affected them? You may have felt justified in defending yourself but what has it really gotten you? It has gotten you a whole lot of alone time to think about things. Would you rather be alone or be right?

Understanding your partner's point of view and loving them selflessly enough to take responsiblity for the things that you say and do and how they might affect the person that you love is important in a relationship. Looking out for your partner's feelings and taking them into consideration shows that you love them and care for them. Lashing out and reacting to their words is always a losing battle and only leads to further misunderstandings and alienation in the long run but by taking responsiblity for what you say and do, you can actually change the relationship dynamic and bring your partner closer to you than you ever imagined.