If one of your main concerns after being diagnosed with prostate cancer is how the illness will impact your marriage, you are not alone. Many men have this same fear especially concerning the sexual intimacy they have with their wives.

It is believed by health experts that good communication between husbands and wives is a significant factor in a man's recovery. To fight the battle against prostate cancer together, and to strengthen your marriage, consider the following options.

Husbands

• With many treatment options available in the battle against prostate cancer, it is important that you and your wife educate yourselves about the disease.
• Give your wife permission to fight the battle with you.
• Let her know how important it is to you to have her involved in all aspects of your treatment.
• Let your wife know if you want her at your medical appointments, etc.
• Don't keep information and news about your illness from your wife. She deserves to know what is happening.
• Listen to her concerns and feelings.
• Be affirming when she is supportive, helpful, and caring.
• Accept that your wife may have some personal issues to work through, too.

Wives

• Be open and honest with your husband about any personal issues you may have concerning being with him during medical treatments.
• Share your feelings and concerns with him.
• Be considerate, supportive, and show you care.
• Understand that you are being affected by your husband's prostate cancer.
• Having a feeling of helplessness is normal. Prostate cancer is something you as wife and nurturer can't fix. You can't solve the problem or make the cancer go away, but you can be there for your husband, hold him, talk to him, listen to him, and let him know he is loved.

• Attend doctor appointments with your husband. However, if he decides that he wants to talk with his physican alone, don't be hurt by that decision. He may need this time to ask questions that he fears will upset you, or the time to assimilate what he has been told by his physican.
• Help him with communicating with his parents, friends, and your children about the disease.
• Realize that you aren't in charge of your husband's care. He is.

Together

• Keep the lines of communication open between the two of you as you both share your feelings about the illness.
• Don't try to read one another's minds.
• Talk with your doctor about concerns you have about sexual intimacy.
• Accept that you may each find a new meaning in life as you deal with the disease, and that this new awareness may change your values and choices in life.