How to Stop Blaming Others for Your Problems
Most of us try to pass the buck on our problems from time to time. But when we're always blaming others for our problems, maybe it's time to take a step back and think about how we can deal with the issues ourself. Here are some ideas on how y
1. Take responsibility
Sorry that I'm not beating around the bush on this. But there's a very high chance that at least some of the responsibility for your problems lies squarely with you.
So the first step should be to take responsibility for at least the portion of your problem that has been caused by you.
There's actually something quite refreshing about doing this - it can often feel as though a weight has been lifted from your shoulders.
If this seems too big to do, pick a small problem and take responsibility for a portion of that. Once you find out how well this works, you can progress to bigger problems over time.
2. Learn to apologize
Again, quite a big issue for a lot of people. We all know those people who never, ever, even with a metaphorical gun pointed at their head, want to apologize.
Don't let yourself be one of those people!
Apologizing for our mistakes is often a big relief. You're no longer bottling up your problem inside yourself.
Instead, once you've apologized, you'll probably find that other people start to rally round and help you overcome whatever the issue is. Even when they'd have been opposed to any kind of help before you uttered your apology.
They'll be secretly (or maybe even outwardly) relieved that you've owned up and stopped blaming other people for your mistakes all the time.
3. Realize that you're not always right
No-one is always right.
Which means that no-one is ever entirely blameless.
Once you acknowledge that you might be wrong, it's not too large a leap to accept that you don't need to blame everyone else in the world for whatever has happened.
4. Find a solution
If there's a finger pointing blame somewhere - and especially if it's your finger that's doing the pointing - then there's almost certainly a problem looking for an answer.
Once you've had your rant about everyone apart from you being useless, it's time to take some action and actually find a solution to the problem. Whether you're to blame or someone else is or even more likely, a combination of you and others are to blame.
So use the time that you would previously have spent blaming other people productively.
Look for a solution to the problem. Enlist the help of others, ideally whilst at least partially accepting the blame for the occurrence. That way you'll put whatever the issue is behind you, sooner rather than later.
5. Realize your shortcomings
You can't do everything. Sorry.
So instead of doing something half-heartedly and then blaming everyone else when it doesn't go perfectly, accept your shortcomings.
Then look around and ask for help. Admit that it's something that you can't do well and ask. Being humble like this will pay big rewards and will stop you going into blame mode in the first place.
1. Take responsibility
Sorry that I'm not beating around the bush on this. But there's a very high chance that at least some of the responsibility for your problems lies squarely with you.
So the first step should be to take responsibility for at least the portion of your problem that has been caused by you.
There's actually something quite refreshing about doing this - it can often feel as though a weight has been lifted from your shoulders.
If this seems too big to do, pick a small problem and take responsibility for a portion of that. Once you find out how well this works, you can progress to bigger problems over time.
2. Learn to apologize
Again, quite a big issue for a lot of people. We all know those people who never, ever, even with a metaphorical gun pointed at their head, want to apologize.
Don't let yourself be one of those people!
Apologizing for our mistakes is often a big relief. You're no longer bottling up your problem inside yourself.
Instead, once you've apologized, you'll probably find that other people start to rally round and help you overcome whatever the issue is. Even when they'd have been opposed to any kind of help before you uttered your apology.
They'll be secretly (or maybe even outwardly) relieved that you've owned up and stopped blaming other people for your mistakes all the time.
3. Realize that you're not always right
No-one is always right.
Which means that no-one is ever entirely blameless.
Once you acknowledge that you might be wrong, it's not too large a leap to accept that you don't need to blame everyone else in the world for whatever has happened.
4. Find a solution
If there's a finger pointing blame somewhere - and especially if it's your finger that's doing the pointing - then there's almost certainly a problem looking for an answer.
Once you've had your rant about everyone apart from you being useless, it's time to take some action and actually find a solution to the problem. Whether you're to blame or someone else is or even more likely, a combination of you and others are to blame.
So use the time that you would previously have spent blaming other people productively.
Look for a solution to the problem. Enlist the help of others, ideally whilst at least partially accepting the blame for the occurrence. That way you'll put whatever the issue is behind you, sooner rather than later.
5. Realize your shortcomings
You can't do everything. Sorry.
So instead of doing something half-heartedly and then blaming everyone else when it doesn't go perfectly, accept your shortcomings.
Then look around and ask for help. Admit that it's something that you can't do well and ask. Being humble like this will pay big rewards and will stop you going into blame mode in the first place.
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