Did you ever wonder where your controlling spouse sprouted up from? You met, and dated and he/she seemed so nice and then...
he doesn't let you think for herself and he constantly asks you what you are doing.
Did it happen overnight, or simply out of the blue? Obviously not.
Nothing in this world happens in a total vacuum.
In this article I'm going to show you 3 of the major reasons why people become controlling.
After you pinpoint the root of your spouse's controlling personality it will be easier for you to look for the most fitting strategy to manage it.
1.
Imitation.
We do what we see around us and this feels natural to us.
Therefore if your spouse grew up in a house where he was exposed to a controlling figure he is apt to pick it up.
Values are taught and learned from our first school, our home.
Most of our firsts are learned and taught from home including our habits and values.
It is surely possible to change the negative things we learned when we were young, but it takes a lot of work.
2.
Trauma.
A person who grew up being controlled and not being able to make their own decisions can develop a fear that they will live their whole life being told what to do.
Because of this they can become controlling themselves, simply out of self defense.
3.
Magnification.
People who grew among substance abuser or infidel people are so afraid that their spouse is the same way that they magnify and exaggerate even the littlest thing that hints of such behavior.
They associate a simple conversation with a neighbor as the beginning of an affair or one beer as alcoholism.
Living with someone who is controlling is not a picnic (to say the least) but the good news is that it is possible to change.
However the way to deal with a control freak who was brought up by very controlling parents will be different than the way to deal with someone who simply magnifies your behavior.
Therefore the first step to deal with a controlling spouse is to identify its source.
After that you can begin to find the proper treatment.