Given the opportunity, your child’s school can play a role in your divorce, one that will have a positive impact on the child.

In the five-year study done by Judith Wallerstein she found that children of divorce showed changes in school behavior and/or academic performance following their parent’s separation.

It's not uncommon for a child’s emotions to be negatively affected by the divorce of their parents.


Since a child spends the majority of their day in school during the school year teachers and school counselors are the ones to deal with the negative emotions a child may feel.

Because your child spends so much time in school, it is important that you make school personnel aware of what is happening at home and the changes your child is experiencing in his/her life.

Your Child’s Teacher:

Confiding in your child’s teacher will help the teacher understand any behavioral changes she/he sees in your child. Giving the teacher information and permission to speak with the child about issues going on at home lessens the child’s anxiety.

And, it lets the child know that talking about the subject is not forbidden and that his/her teacher is there for support if needed. Below is information you should share with your child’s teacher.

 

• Explain to the teacher what language you use when talking to your child about divorce. Ask him/her to use the same language when talking to the child about the divorce. Let her/him know how much information you have given your child and how you relayed that information to the child.
   
  

• Ask the teacher to reassure your child that the divorce has nothing to do with them and is in no way their fault.
   
  
• Let the teacher know that if your child becomes overly distressed during school hours that you are the child’s other parents should be called.
   
  
• Share with the teacher the custody status of the child. Make the teachers knows who is and isn’t allowed to pick the child up from school and if there are any issues with domestic violence.

The School Counselor:

School counselors are trained to deal with such issues and can be of help in normalizing the child’s school day. The school counselor provides assistance by one-on-one counseling with the child. They also act as a go-between with the parents, the teacher and school administration. A school counselor can help your child with issues such as the change in lifestyle, changes such as becoming a single parent household and any problems the child may have with other children during school hours.

Taking advantage of the support your child’s teacher and school counselor offers will ensure that everyone involved with your child watches for any signs of emotional distress due to your divorce. Ask the school counselor about any resources the school offers for children going through parental divorce. Many schools have special group meetings for children whose parents are divorced or, are divorcing.

Enlisting the help of school personnel, as support for your child during and after your divorce will go a long way toward helping your child cope with the divorce, succeed in school and feel good about themselves. If it is a high conflict divorce a combined effort between both parents and school personnel will be in the best interest of your child.