I watched a Ted talk yesterday that reminded me of how important it is to really love yourself before you find your partner.
The woman on the talk was speaking about how after 3 divorces she decided to married herself.
Back in my early 30's, I too decided to marry myself.
I had a ceremony where I invited just me and myself.
I wrote vows and bought myself a beautiful wedding ring, purchased some roses and dug out my old prom dress.
Back then, I was a failure at relationships.
I had many false starts, 2 marriage proposals that I screwed up and my boyfriend of 6 years had just cheated on me and moved out of our shared apartment.
Being a little bitter about love and not very hopeful; I came to realize that I was so desperately wanting to find a partner that could make my life complete and make me happy that I had forgotten the most important person in that equation.
Me.
Right then, I decided to put a ring on my finger and vow to myself that I would always be committed to myself.
What that meant was that I would always listen to my needs.
I would protect my heart from bad relationships and unavailable men and I would make myself and my juicy life my number one priority.
It was fun wooing myself and taking myself out on awesome dates and adventures.
During the first year of my marriage to me, something amazing happened.
My self esteem grew.
I found myself not putting up with bad behavior with men any more.
In fact, I was choosing different kind of man altogether.
Now that I am married to my husband, (I guess I have a poly relationship).
My first marriage to myself is still my priority and because of this I have a very strong relationship with my husband.
Quite frankly, my strong relationship with myself was the only reason why I was able to meet such a wonderful man in the first place.
Once I stopped looking outside of myself to be fulfilled, I was a much better catch and I radiated self confidence and passion because of it.
These are the things my husband later told me that made him move all the way from Portland to San Francisco after only 3 months of meeting me.
He said I was like a magnet and he just needed to be near me.
If you were to show yourself love what would you do for yourself? If you were married to yourself right now, what kind of partner are you to yourself? Do you find yourself attractive? Do you take yourself out and treat yourself kindly? Do you cheat on yourself by paying more attention to other people than you do to yourself? If you are not a good partner to yourself, how can you expect a man to treat you any better? Be loved, Cinthia