Are You Really Sure You Want Your Ex Back?
You must be sure that you are not just missing having someone in your life.
Is it really your ex boyfriend or girlfriend that you are looking for? If it was you who broke the relationship you have to know exactly what it is that you want.
Are you really sure you want your ex back? At some time in their existence most relationships touch a bad period, but the best can survive when the less solid are not so successful.
You have to learn to give and take in a relationship which means that each partner can take but they have to learn to give as well Just because men and women are so very different from each other, it is not a reason for not learning to live the one with the other.
Sharing your life with someone is a very big commitment and it is important to start after having clarified the fundamentals.
Matters like deciding where you are going to live or do you want to have a family, are very important.
Relationships at the start are often taken up with the pleasure of being together that these issues are overlooked in the early stages but later on they are the cause of serious problems.
Relationships break up for many reasons, very often financial or for stress about the family.
Even though you feel that you know them very well and you want to look after them, you can inadvertently cause them great suffering.
It is so easy when we are suffering to turn the pain and anger on our partner.
Why did you decide to break up? If, for example, it happened because one of you wanted children and the other had no desire to start a family, this is not likely to change if you get back together.
You will likely fall apart again if you cannot resolve the problem before getting back together.
You cannot force your partner to do something that they are fundamentally against and expect that your relationship will continue as before.
Somewhere down the line it will fall apart again.
So where you have broken up because of a fundamental disagreement you would likely be wiser to look for someone who has ideas that go along with what you want.
Where you broke up over something that was not very important such as one being jealous of the other, you have generally every reason to want to save the relationship.
In this case when you miss your partner you should make every effort to try to get them back.
Get in contact with your ex and tell them that you want to talk about the future.
Don't try pointing blame and getting in a long discussion about what went wrong and whose fault it all was.
Just decide that you want to try to get the relationship going again despite the problems of the past.
You might both find it useful to get some counseling as the participation of an outside party may help you talk more easily one with the other.
It will serve no purpose if you start by getting annoyed with each other.
You have to be constructive if you want your ex back.
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com Joe Bisley