They're everywhere.
You search the internet for an answer to your marriage problem and you'll get a couple ads for some fix your marriage courses, a handful of articles and some counseling services sites.
And the majority of what they're offering you is techniques.
How to stop blaming.
How to start connecting.
How to make her attracted to you.
But do techniques really work? And is that all you need? I'll uncover the truth about techniques and give you 4 other things you should be looking for to get the exceptional marriage you want.
Last week, I thought to myself, you know, it's always the crippled inmates who try to assault me.
Waving their canes.
Rising up out of their wheelchairs snarling with anger.
The latest episode found me treating the poor wheelchair bound fellow on the hospital gurney.
(I work as a prison paramedic in my day job.
) When he decided he didn't agree with my diagnosis and took a swing at my head.
Now I have informally studied martial arts most of my adult life.
So I know maybe a dozen defenses against the right cross that the inmate was aiming at my head.
Technically I didn't need a dozen defenses.
In fact, having a dozen defenses in my head was bad in a way, because time was of the essence.
I didn't need a dozen, I needed one.
One that worked and I needed it pronto.
And not in my head.
Not even in my heart where some things can end up after enough repetition.
No, I needed it in my hand.
This situation illustrates the problem with techniques.
While they are often elegant and effective, their specificity which in some ways is their greatest strength, also is their downfall.
On that level, for each form of attack you need a defensive technique.
Not only is that information too much to master effectively in a life time, but it is not even enough.
Because imagine if every time your opponent came at you with a right cross you used the same defensive technique.
Soon he would figure you out and find a way around it.
What does all this have to do with your marriage? Well, your wife challenges you with dozens of situations and moods daily.
If you're looking to repair things on the technique level, you are fighting a losing battle.
Below I will give you a list of what else there is.
1.
Tools.
In martial arts, tools are punches, kicks, blocks and holds.
In marriage they are giving, taking, asking and answering.
Tools are the building blocks of techniques, but are more versatile.
By practicing the various forms of each tool, you get a pretty wide-ranging arsenal.
But tools fall short also, because on their own they lack guidance.
2.
Principles.
The guiding beliefs and understanding of what you are about and what relationships are about and your relationship in particular stands for are your principles.
A thorough and solid understanding of your principles is necessary to guide your effective use of the tools.
With principles the tools have an over-arching message and meaning that can build your relationship.
However, even principles are not enough to build the truly exceptional marriage.
3.
Projects.
Principles will guide you, but to get the full traction possible from them, you will need to dream up, design and deliver projects.
A project might be a well-executed date night.
Or a weekend trip for the family.
It could be organizing the chores and cleaning schedule so it runs more smoothly.
Or it might be taking the boys to a local semi-pro baseball game while the missus has an escape at the local spa.
Anything goes.
Use your imagination.
You're getting closer.
There is one more level to master to reach exceptional.
4.
It is the most powerful part of the system.
It will give you the advantage you need to truly be the man of your house once and for all.
To never doubt or falter in your place as leader.
To find out the last piece of the puzzle that ties it all together for free follow the link below.