How to Keep a Conversation Going If You Are Shy
Many shy people have a hard time making conversation.
They are not successful at making small talk, and they don't know how to keep a conversation going.
Without this important skill, the conversation quickly grinds to an awkward halt, and they feel more awkward and embarrassed than ever.
The good news is that making successful conversation is a skill that all of us can acquire.
However, we will not become successful conversationalists unless we practice this skill frequently.
This means we must take every opportunity to practice making small talk even when we feel nervous, or when we feel like we would rather be at home alone.
It also means we need to give ourselves permission to make lots of errors and to be less than perfect.
When you want to keep a conversation going with another person, avoid asking that person any closed-ended questions and instead, ask open-ended questions.
A closed-ended question is one that can be answered with a simple one or two word answer.
An example of a closed-ended question would be, "Have you been here before?" Once the person has replied either "yes" or "no", they may have nothing else to say.
An open-ended question is one that requires a lengthy and thoughtful answer from the other person.
An example of an open-ended question would be, "What do you think about the changes the city is making to the main street?" This kind of question will encourage the other person to talk, and they will be pleased that you are interested in hearing their opinion.
If someone asks you a closed-ended question in a conversation, most of the time, you do not need to restrict yourself to providing a one word answer.
Feel free to give a bit more information than what you were asked.
This will give the other person added information they can use to lead the conversation further.
When you ask someone an open-ended question, it is very important to show that you are interested in hearing their reply.
You can do this by looking attentively at them while they speak, making facial expressions that match the emotional content of what they are saying, and making comments that show you are following what they say.
Shy people often do not realize that a conversation must flow back and forth between two people because they are so preoccupied with how nervous they feel.
Not only do shy people not participate in the speaking part of the conversation, they often do not really listen to what the other person is saying.
They don't really hear when the other person is revealing their interests and their beliefs.
Quite often, the shy person is too busy being nervous and worrying about what to say next.
One important step in improving your conversation skills if you are shy, is to stop attacking yourself for your shyness.
Instead, you must tell yourself that learning how to keep a conversation going is a skill that you are going to learn and that you will enjoy yourself at every step along the way.
They are not successful at making small talk, and they don't know how to keep a conversation going.
Without this important skill, the conversation quickly grinds to an awkward halt, and they feel more awkward and embarrassed than ever.
The good news is that making successful conversation is a skill that all of us can acquire.
However, we will not become successful conversationalists unless we practice this skill frequently.
This means we must take every opportunity to practice making small talk even when we feel nervous, or when we feel like we would rather be at home alone.
It also means we need to give ourselves permission to make lots of errors and to be less than perfect.
When you want to keep a conversation going with another person, avoid asking that person any closed-ended questions and instead, ask open-ended questions.
A closed-ended question is one that can be answered with a simple one or two word answer.
An example of a closed-ended question would be, "Have you been here before?" Once the person has replied either "yes" or "no", they may have nothing else to say.
An open-ended question is one that requires a lengthy and thoughtful answer from the other person.
An example of an open-ended question would be, "What do you think about the changes the city is making to the main street?" This kind of question will encourage the other person to talk, and they will be pleased that you are interested in hearing their opinion.
If someone asks you a closed-ended question in a conversation, most of the time, you do not need to restrict yourself to providing a one word answer.
Feel free to give a bit more information than what you were asked.
This will give the other person added information they can use to lead the conversation further.
When you ask someone an open-ended question, it is very important to show that you are interested in hearing their reply.
You can do this by looking attentively at them while they speak, making facial expressions that match the emotional content of what they are saying, and making comments that show you are following what they say.
Shy people often do not realize that a conversation must flow back and forth between two people because they are so preoccupied with how nervous they feel.
Not only do shy people not participate in the speaking part of the conversation, they often do not really listen to what the other person is saying.
They don't really hear when the other person is revealing their interests and their beliefs.
Quite often, the shy person is too busy being nervous and worrying about what to say next.
One important step in improving your conversation skills if you are shy, is to stop attacking yourself for your shyness.
Instead, you must tell yourself that learning how to keep a conversation going is a skill that you are going to learn and that you will enjoy yourself at every step along the way.
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