Should You Take Your Ex Girlfriend Back?
You meet this incredible cute girl. You have never met someone like her before. She is just amazing. You both in love and everybody always tells you how perfect you are for each other. However, after some time, you have your first fight (but hey, every couple fights, it's totally normal). Then other fights follow and finally you can't take it anymore and decide to break up.
Now you are both vulnerable and start to doubt if breaking up was really the right thing to do. So you start talking to each about the great times you had together and thoughts of getting back together again begin to appear. Finally she tells you that maybe you should just give it another try. So here is the question: should you take your ex girlfriend back and try to work it out? Or should you just forget about it and just move on?
Now, the thing with a breakup is, that most of the time, it will hurt like hell. As human beings we are programmed to avoid pain at any cost. So, when both parties are hurting badly, the only solution seems to get together again to remedy this pain. This might seem like a reasonable decision because both wouldn't be in pain anymore but sadly, this is only a band aid solution.
The problem with getting together with an ex again is that most of the time people completely ignore the bad times they had with each other and focus only on the good ones. But this is a big mistake, because they ignore the most important issue: the reason why they broke up in the first place. If a couple decide to avoid this problem completely, it will resurface and break them up again.
When we lose something, our first reaction is to get it back. This is however a massive mistake when it comes to a breakup since we act out of desperation. We are driven by our emotions and throw all reason out of the window. In this case however, rational thought is our biggest ally because it shows us where we went wrong.
The harsh truth is this: even if you try to fix the issues you both had, you will discover that most of the time, they can't be fixed. Not every problem can be solved. That's why you would simply do yourself (and her) a favor and not even try. Now, this might look like you are giving up, but it's a better solution in the long run than trying to fix a damaged relationship that is beyond repair. It will save you the pain and suffering (and insanity).
Of course, there are exceptions where a couple with a bad breakup got together again and live happily now. But for every couple like this, there are countless examples, where getting together was the biggest mistake the couple has ever done. Some of them are still together and denying the fact that there just isn't any chemistry between them.
There isn't a "the only right decisions" when it comes to getting together again. If after a bad breakup your only wish is to fix it, then stop for a minute, put your emotions aside and think what the reason for the breakup was (and how much you suffered). If you think you could live through this insane emotional roller-coaster again without losing your mind, give it another try.
However, if you really think hard about this, you will probably come to the realization, that the breakup was the right thing to do - you two broke up for a reason and this reason is most likely there to stay!
Now you are both vulnerable and start to doubt if breaking up was really the right thing to do. So you start talking to each about the great times you had together and thoughts of getting back together again begin to appear. Finally she tells you that maybe you should just give it another try. So here is the question: should you take your ex girlfriend back and try to work it out? Or should you just forget about it and just move on?
Now, the thing with a breakup is, that most of the time, it will hurt like hell. As human beings we are programmed to avoid pain at any cost. So, when both parties are hurting badly, the only solution seems to get together again to remedy this pain. This might seem like a reasonable decision because both wouldn't be in pain anymore but sadly, this is only a band aid solution.
The problem with getting together with an ex again is that most of the time people completely ignore the bad times they had with each other and focus only on the good ones. But this is a big mistake, because they ignore the most important issue: the reason why they broke up in the first place. If a couple decide to avoid this problem completely, it will resurface and break them up again.
When we lose something, our first reaction is to get it back. This is however a massive mistake when it comes to a breakup since we act out of desperation. We are driven by our emotions and throw all reason out of the window. In this case however, rational thought is our biggest ally because it shows us where we went wrong.
The harsh truth is this: even if you try to fix the issues you both had, you will discover that most of the time, they can't be fixed. Not every problem can be solved. That's why you would simply do yourself (and her) a favor and not even try. Now, this might look like you are giving up, but it's a better solution in the long run than trying to fix a damaged relationship that is beyond repair. It will save you the pain and suffering (and insanity).
Of course, there are exceptions where a couple with a bad breakup got together again and live happily now. But for every couple like this, there are countless examples, where getting together was the biggest mistake the couple has ever done. Some of them are still together and denying the fact that there just isn't any chemistry between them.
There isn't a "the only right decisions" when it comes to getting together again. If after a bad breakup your only wish is to fix it, then stop for a minute, put your emotions aside and think what the reason for the breakup was (and how much you suffered). If you think you could live through this insane emotional roller-coaster again without losing your mind, give it another try.
However, if you really think hard about this, you will probably come to the realization, that the breakup was the right thing to do - you two broke up for a reason and this reason is most likely there to stay!
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