How Can I Win My Ex Boyfriend Back - Even After I Drove Him Away
Many girls seem to ask themselves “How can I win my ex boyfriend back” even after they drove their ex boyfriend away. Perhaps there’s been some sort of falling out or an argument but many things are said in the heat of the moment that you now regret.
When we’re dating, life is always full of ups and downs and most of the “downs” are a result of nothing more than a slight misunderstanding. So, while you’re still trying to sort out in your own mind what went wrong, here a few suggestions as to where men get the wrong idea and end up thinking that they’re being driven away.
Many men back off for what seems like a counter intuitive reason. By trying too hard to be the perfect girlfriend, looking after whatever he needs, you end up looking like a doormat to him. The best idea is to be comfortable with the idea of self respect and how you present yourself to the man in your life. This doesn’t necessarily mean that you should always be the dominant part of the relationship but more that you should be saying that you deserve to be treated with respect.
By not being willing to be walked all over you give the message that your ex boyfriend should want to come back to you. Men do like to be treated well most of the time but they do want women who are able to stand up for themselves.
Another thing that will drive them away is to talk about your other ex’s. Men tend to be competitive when it comes to dating and thinking of the other men that could be seen as potential competition to their efforts will cause trouble. This is because when you mention the other men that have been in your life it gives them something to compare against.
This doesn’t mean that you can never mention a previous boyfriend as your background and personal story are important, it’s what makes you the person you are. Knowing you dated one man through school or university is fine. Telling your current boyfriend that your former boyfriend was an athlete with dozens of medals or too much personal detail such as where his birthmarks are is just way too much information for a man to handle. By focusing on a former ex you’ll only give the impression that you want to be with them rather than the boyfriend you have just now. Or, if it’s all negative stuff, your current boyfriend will end up over analysing themselves and the relationship will only suffer.
Being to cold and calculating, or alternatively being to promiscuous, will count against you. The ideal presentation is of ladylike or feminine behaviour. Too much overtly sexual behaviour can be counterproductive but at the same time being too much of a tomboy will push men away. You should aim to be feminine, demure and someone who is not cheap or intimidating.
Another big turn off is to be seen to be pressuring him and this include trying to get him to define his role. Another big no-no is to be constantly analysing who he is and how he feels. Men tend not to be very keen on discussing their feelings, especially in the early days of a relationship. They also don’t like having their feelings challenged and if he has an idea that is openly proved to be wrong it can send him heading for the hills.
One other area where men can be instantly “on guard” is where the woman in his life is always trying to change him, even if she does think it would be for the best. Men think that when you go out with them that you want them for what they are at that moment in time. So trying to change him will give the message that you believe he has a serious problem or a fault of some kind. Even if this is true, trying to change it will only challenge his feelings and runs the risk of taking away his self respect. The best bet is to leave him be. At the end of the day, if you really can’t live with his problem and need something else, then find someone else.
Remember, no one and no relationship is perfect; only that you may be perfect for each other. When you’re trying to figure out how you can win you’re ex boyfriend back, then the steps above are there to make sure you don’t scare him away.
When we’re dating, life is always full of ups and downs and most of the “downs” are a result of nothing more than a slight misunderstanding. So, while you’re still trying to sort out in your own mind what went wrong, here a few suggestions as to where men get the wrong idea and end up thinking that they’re being driven away.
Many men back off for what seems like a counter intuitive reason. By trying too hard to be the perfect girlfriend, looking after whatever he needs, you end up looking like a doormat to him. The best idea is to be comfortable with the idea of self respect and how you present yourself to the man in your life. This doesn’t necessarily mean that you should always be the dominant part of the relationship but more that you should be saying that you deserve to be treated with respect.
By not being willing to be walked all over you give the message that your ex boyfriend should want to come back to you. Men do like to be treated well most of the time but they do want women who are able to stand up for themselves.
Another thing that will drive them away is to talk about your other ex’s. Men tend to be competitive when it comes to dating and thinking of the other men that could be seen as potential competition to their efforts will cause trouble. This is because when you mention the other men that have been in your life it gives them something to compare against.
This doesn’t mean that you can never mention a previous boyfriend as your background and personal story are important, it’s what makes you the person you are. Knowing you dated one man through school or university is fine. Telling your current boyfriend that your former boyfriend was an athlete with dozens of medals or too much personal detail such as where his birthmarks are is just way too much information for a man to handle. By focusing on a former ex you’ll only give the impression that you want to be with them rather than the boyfriend you have just now. Or, if it’s all negative stuff, your current boyfriend will end up over analysing themselves and the relationship will only suffer.
Being to cold and calculating, or alternatively being to promiscuous, will count against you. The ideal presentation is of ladylike or feminine behaviour. Too much overtly sexual behaviour can be counterproductive but at the same time being too much of a tomboy will push men away. You should aim to be feminine, demure and someone who is not cheap or intimidating.
Another big turn off is to be seen to be pressuring him and this include trying to get him to define his role. Another big no-no is to be constantly analysing who he is and how he feels. Men tend not to be very keen on discussing their feelings, especially in the early days of a relationship. They also don’t like having their feelings challenged and if he has an idea that is openly proved to be wrong it can send him heading for the hills.
One other area where men can be instantly “on guard” is where the woman in his life is always trying to change him, even if she does think it would be for the best. Men think that when you go out with them that you want them for what they are at that moment in time. So trying to change him will give the message that you believe he has a serious problem or a fault of some kind. Even if this is true, trying to change it will only challenge his feelings and runs the risk of taking away his self respect. The best bet is to leave him be. At the end of the day, if you really can’t live with his problem and need something else, then find someone else.
Remember, no one and no relationship is perfect; only that you may be perfect for each other. When you’re trying to figure out how you can win you’re ex boyfriend back, then the steps above are there to make sure you don’t scare him away.
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