The "Dating - Enthusiasm - Escape" Pattern Never Leads to a Meaningful Relationship
Are you a person who never stays in any relationship more than a short while even though you claim you want an intimate, long-term bond? Do you, upon meeting someone new, get very excited at first but soon begin distancing yourself from your partner and intensively begin to seek a new one? The Dating - Enthusiasm - Escape Pattern Looking back at some of your relationships, can you identify a fixed pattern: dating - enthusiasm - escape? If you do, you probably are not happy with this state-of-affairs.
Unfortunately you might not know how to change this situation.
"Something" is controlling your attitudes and behaviors, withholding you from staying longer in a relationship.
What might be withholding you from staying longer in a relationship? * Is it a fear of commitment? * Is it a low sense of self-esteem, needing to prove to yourself, time and again, that you are attractive? * Is it a fear of being hurt - as you might have been in the past, scared to be abandoned (again), abused, not appreciated - and therefore you prefer to be the one leaving? Understanding the reasons behind the dating - enthusiasm - escape pattern A variety of reasons might explain the dating - enthusiasm - escape pattern: * You might have grown up in a home in which your parents' relationship wasn't good, to the point that you unconsciously internalized the message: "Be wary of relationships - they're not good" * You might have heard one of your parents saying: "Think twice before making a commitment"; "Once you make a commitment, there's no going back".
* You might have heard your parents talking about some "wild" single relative and what a great life this person has, to the point that you've unconsciously became afraid that once you get into a relationship, you won't have a wonderful life.
* It might also be that you heard your father complain that he - or someone else in the family - never got ahead professionally because of his commitment to his family and you're afraid that a relationship will preclude professional success.
Regardless of which of the above - or other - reasons play a part in this self-sabotaging pattern, it is safe to assume that you've developed it unconsciously.
This being the case, the pattern now controls you instead of you controlling your life! Self-Awareness is the key to understand your self-sabotaging pattern If you wish to: * Get back the "control" over your life; * De-activate the harmful "date - enthusiasm - escape" pattern; * Resolve the dichotomy between wanting a relationship and not being able to cultivate a true long-term one; then: You need to: * Acknowledge the existence of this pattern; * Accept that this pattern is sabotaging you; * Realize the way it hurts you (and your partners!).
The way to do so is to develop Self-Awareness: getting to know yourself better and understand what's behind this harmful pattern.
You will then become empowered to develop a long term satisfying relationship.
To learn about fears which might withhold you from having a long-term relationship, read Dr.
Gil's book: "The Self-Awareness Guide to a Successful Intimate Relationship": http://www.
amazon.
com/Self-Awareness-Guide-Successful-Intimate-Relationship/dp/143925141X/
Unfortunately you might not know how to change this situation.
"Something" is controlling your attitudes and behaviors, withholding you from staying longer in a relationship.
What might be withholding you from staying longer in a relationship? * Is it a fear of commitment? * Is it a low sense of self-esteem, needing to prove to yourself, time and again, that you are attractive? * Is it a fear of being hurt - as you might have been in the past, scared to be abandoned (again), abused, not appreciated - and therefore you prefer to be the one leaving? Understanding the reasons behind the dating - enthusiasm - escape pattern A variety of reasons might explain the dating - enthusiasm - escape pattern: * You might have grown up in a home in which your parents' relationship wasn't good, to the point that you unconsciously internalized the message: "Be wary of relationships - they're not good" * You might have heard one of your parents saying: "Think twice before making a commitment"; "Once you make a commitment, there's no going back".
* You might have heard your parents talking about some "wild" single relative and what a great life this person has, to the point that you've unconsciously became afraid that once you get into a relationship, you won't have a wonderful life.
* It might also be that you heard your father complain that he - or someone else in the family - never got ahead professionally because of his commitment to his family and you're afraid that a relationship will preclude professional success.
Regardless of which of the above - or other - reasons play a part in this self-sabotaging pattern, it is safe to assume that you've developed it unconsciously.
This being the case, the pattern now controls you instead of you controlling your life! Self-Awareness is the key to understand your self-sabotaging pattern If you wish to: * Get back the "control" over your life; * De-activate the harmful "date - enthusiasm - escape" pattern; * Resolve the dichotomy between wanting a relationship and not being able to cultivate a true long-term one; then: You need to: * Acknowledge the existence of this pattern; * Accept that this pattern is sabotaging you; * Realize the way it hurts you (and your partners!).
The way to do so is to develop Self-Awareness: getting to know yourself better and understand what's behind this harmful pattern.
You will then become empowered to develop a long term satisfying relationship.
To learn about fears which might withhold you from having a long-term relationship, read Dr.
Gil's book: "The Self-Awareness Guide to a Successful Intimate Relationship": http://www.
amazon.
com/Self-Awareness-Guide-Successful-Intimate-Relationship/dp/143925141X/
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