How To Reframe Approach Anxiety And Get All The Girls You Want
If you see a cute girl that you may or may not be interested in, there's no logical reason why you shouldn't go over and talk to her.
Unless you've snuck into her house and are hiding in her bedroom closet, she would almost certainly welcome the approach.
Especially if you're in a location where girls and guys go to meet each other.
She's there specifically so she CAN get approached.
You're there so you CAN approach.
It's how it works.
You go there, approach as many girls as you can, until you find a couple that you hit it off with.
She goes there, hoping to GET approached by as many guys as possible, hoping to find a couple that she will potentially hit it off with.
This is the nature of human existence.
Guys and girls spend their lives trying to hook up so we can make more guys and girls.
It's been the master plan of our self replicating DNA since our ancestors crawled out of the sludge millions and millions of years ago.
So what's the problem? Your imagination, that's what.
And your imagination is based on the meaning you give to the situation.
When something as emotionally charged as a potential sexual encounter comes up, our neurology goes haywire.
Your brain is like a little kid on a massive sugar high let loose in Toys-R-Us.
The problem is when we see the outcome of the situation as a reflection on who we are.
If we approach, and get shot down, it means we're a loser.
If we approach, and get her number, or more, we're a hero.
Obviously, this is absolutely false.
How the actual interaction goes is based on a billion variables, least of which is her determination of your "worth," as if anybody could determine that anyway.
Think of the approach is a test, not of her or you, but how you "mesh" together.
What you say is not really important.
You're just walking up and interacting with her to see if there's enough overlap to move forward.
Sometimes there is, sometimes there isn't.
It seems like she holds all the cards, because girls are attracted by your personality and confidence, while guys are attracted based solely on looks.
But as I'm sure you know, most girls lose their appeal rather quickly once you get to know them.
Some of the most gorgeous girls in the world turn out to be nightmares once we get to know their personality.
Keep this in mind before giving her all the power to "reject" you.
Unless you've snuck into her house and are hiding in her bedroom closet, she would almost certainly welcome the approach.
Especially if you're in a location where girls and guys go to meet each other.
She's there specifically so she CAN get approached.
You're there so you CAN approach.
It's how it works.
You go there, approach as many girls as you can, until you find a couple that you hit it off with.
She goes there, hoping to GET approached by as many guys as possible, hoping to find a couple that she will potentially hit it off with.
This is the nature of human existence.
Guys and girls spend their lives trying to hook up so we can make more guys and girls.
It's been the master plan of our self replicating DNA since our ancestors crawled out of the sludge millions and millions of years ago.
So what's the problem? Your imagination, that's what.
And your imagination is based on the meaning you give to the situation.
When something as emotionally charged as a potential sexual encounter comes up, our neurology goes haywire.
Your brain is like a little kid on a massive sugar high let loose in Toys-R-Us.
The problem is when we see the outcome of the situation as a reflection on who we are.
If we approach, and get shot down, it means we're a loser.
If we approach, and get her number, or more, we're a hero.
Obviously, this is absolutely false.
How the actual interaction goes is based on a billion variables, least of which is her determination of your "worth," as if anybody could determine that anyway.
Think of the approach is a test, not of her or you, but how you "mesh" together.
What you say is not really important.
You're just walking up and interacting with her to see if there's enough overlap to move forward.
Sometimes there is, sometimes there isn't.
It seems like she holds all the cards, because girls are attracted by your personality and confidence, while guys are attracted based solely on looks.
But as I'm sure you know, most girls lose their appeal rather quickly once you get to know them.
Some of the most gorgeous girls in the world turn out to be nightmares once we get to know their personality.
Keep this in mind before giving her all the power to "reject" you.
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