All too often, adults have multiple problems or issues that cause break ups.
When there are small children involved, this is heartbreaking.
This does not, however, mean that older children, even grown children, are not crushed when parents separate.
Small children tend to take the blame upon themselves.
"What did I do?" is often heard.
In these cases, it is vitally important that children be comforted and reassured that it is not their fault.
Older children may have the same reaction, or may be bitter against the parent that leaves.
This is normal, too.
By working together, parents can help alleviate this.
Grown children are often at a loss.
They may realize that they are not the reason their parents are no longer together, but this does not in itself lessen the pain and distress felt by grown children.
So, what can children of any age do when mom and dad break up? First, don't make the situation worse by taking sides.
Be supportive of both parents.
Realize this is not a sudden thing--it took time to get to this point.
It will take time to remedy, if it ever is.
Non-judgemental listening is not easy to do, but will be extremely helpful if you can manage it.
Sometimes, people break up because they don't know how to resolve issues in their relationship.
If this is the case, a counselor or a good book might be enough to help.
Older and grown children can offer their parents these types of solutions, but should understand that parents may not be willing to listen.
After all, they are hurt, angry and feeling vulnerable at the moment.
Most important of all is not to break off contact with either parent.
Both will need your understanding, love, and support.
You will live with regrets for many years if you turn your back on either of them.