4 Easy Steps To Get Your Ex Back
At some point every one of us have gone through or experienced an unwanted breakup. There was even a song titled "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do" Unlike other things you do over and over, a breakup is never an easy thing.
No matter if you were the one that initiated the breakup or the one the breakup happened to it doesn't get easier over time. Sometimes breakups occur over mere misunderstandings and in that case it is perfectly normal for you to wish you could get your Ex back.
Surprisingly there are even those who have been involved in bad relationships that still desire their Ex back. It is not advisable however if that person was abusive that you think about getting them back. By all definitions it was not a healthy relationship. Consider yourself very fortunate indeed that you are no longer with that person.
In most cases relationships follow somewhat typical patterns and cycles. In the very beginning it is such a new and exciting thing. You both are on your best behavior. Then you reach a comfort level.
Adjusting to a set pattern often occurs. This is when you start to see the real picture. Somehow the things that used to appear quirky not irritate. This is when trouble potentially starts. The strength of your bond gets tested and refined in the fire. You start to see things don't come easy you have to work at them. If you find yourself in a relationship that has been severed you must determine if there is anything that can be salvaged.
Answers are what you need. These four steps will start you on the way.
1. First of all be willing to say you are sorry. Just acknowledging your part is a good first step. Don't blame yourself for everything. It does take two people to cultivate a harmonious relationship. Reflect on exactly what you are apologizing for. Don't let the apology escalate into a blame session. This could lead to a confrontation that is not suitable in your quest to win your Ex back. Try not to get defensive if he does not want to accept your apology. Swallow your pride and remain calm.
2. Set up a time frame where you can sit and talk. Don't beg or plead for this face to face time if he is not ready. During your conversation make sure your Ex knows you are not face to face to have a debate over what went wrong. Stay objective on the issues. You'll get much better results by sticking to the issues without pointing fingers. If possible enlist the help of a therapist or trusted friend to help guide you two through some of the issues.
3. Make sure you give your Ex some space. Give him time to prepare mentally. Separation between you will give him time to cool down and start missing you and constantly him will not give him a chance to do so.
4. Prove to him that you capable of being alone even though your number one desire is to have him back. Now is not the time to be clingy. Don't waste your time sitting around the house waiting for him to get in touch with you. Continue to socialize with your friends. Your calendar should remain as full as it was before the breakup. Word will get out that you appear to be moving on with your life. This will make him start to wonder. In the beginning when he first starts calling, ignore his attempts to contact you letting his message go to voice mail or tell him you'll phone him back at a more convenient time.
These steps should ultimately put the shoe on his foot with him pursing you and winning back your affections.
No matter if you were the one that initiated the breakup or the one the breakup happened to it doesn't get easier over time. Sometimes breakups occur over mere misunderstandings and in that case it is perfectly normal for you to wish you could get your Ex back.
Surprisingly there are even those who have been involved in bad relationships that still desire their Ex back. It is not advisable however if that person was abusive that you think about getting them back. By all definitions it was not a healthy relationship. Consider yourself very fortunate indeed that you are no longer with that person.
In most cases relationships follow somewhat typical patterns and cycles. In the very beginning it is such a new and exciting thing. You both are on your best behavior. Then you reach a comfort level.
Adjusting to a set pattern often occurs. This is when you start to see the real picture. Somehow the things that used to appear quirky not irritate. This is when trouble potentially starts. The strength of your bond gets tested and refined in the fire. You start to see things don't come easy you have to work at them. If you find yourself in a relationship that has been severed you must determine if there is anything that can be salvaged.
Answers are what you need. These four steps will start you on the way.
1. First of all be willing to say you are sorry. Just acknowledging your part is a good first step. Don't blame yourself for everything. It does take two people to cultivate a harmonious relationship. Reflect on exactly what you are apologizing for. Don't let the apology escalate into a blame session. This could lead to a confrontation that is not suitable in your quest to win your Ex back. Try not to get defensive if he does not want to accept your apology. Swallow your pride and remain calm.
2. Set up a time frame where you can sit and talk. Don't beg or plead for this face to face time if he is not ready. During your conversation make sure your Ex knows you are not face to face to have a debate over what went wrong. Stay objective on the issues. You'll get much better results by sticking to the issues without pointing fingers. If possible enlist the help of a therapist or trusted friend to help guide you two through some of the issues.
3. Make sure you give your Ex some space. Give him time to prepare mentally. Separation between you will give him time to cool down and start missing you and constantly him will not give him a chance to do so.
4. Prove to him that you capable of being alone even though your number one desire is to have him back. Now is not the time to be clingy. Don't waste your time sitting around the house waiting for him to get in touch with you. Continue to socialize with your friends. Your calendar should remain as full as it was before the breakup. Word will get out that you appear to be moving on with your life. This will make him start to wonder. In the beginning when he first starts calling, ignore his attempts to contact you letting his message go to voice mail or tell him you'll phone him back at a more convenient time.
These steps should ultimately put the shoe on his foot with him pursing you and winning back your affections.
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