Co dependence (or codependency) is usually defined as a behavior where an individual exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for persons who depend on him or her.
Another term associated with being "codependent" is enabling.
In other words, being codependent is enabling the destructive behavior of an individual close to you to continue.
It can also mean an individual may rely on the emotions and opinions of others around them to determine how they feel about themselves.
There are many things to consider before labeling yourself an enabler or codependent.
No one should consider him or herself an enabler or codependent without first honestly reviewing their own situation and environment.
Being compassionate, sympathetic or empathetic to a suffering individual's predicament does not necessarily mean you are being an enabler or a codependent.
If you, by chance, are allowing an active alcoholic to live in your house free of charge while you pay the bills and this has gone on for a while now, well, you may be codependent.
The reason being is you are enabling them to continue their destructive behaviors toward themselves and you.
Taking little to none of the appropriate action to help a sick individual get well is a good sign of co dependence.
One drawback many codependents experience is self-identification.
If the destructive behavior has gone on for years, they may find themselves subconsciously sabotaging the sick individual's chances of getting better.
A common fear is, "If they get better, what will happen to me? I won't be needed anymore.
" The disease of alcoholism and drug addiction is sometimes called a family disease because of all the people it affects.
To some degree, everyone who lives with or is close to an active alcoholic or drug addict is sick.
Years of destructive and sporadic behaviors of the alcoholic or drug addict will make a sick person out of anyone.
Nearly no one is immune, employers, friends, coworkers, and especially the immediate family members.
Another situation for a codependent may be the result from being raised by an active alcoholic or drug addict.
Usually what happens for the codependent in this scenario is they are overwhelming dependent on the actions, emotions and opinions of others (such as a parent) to identify who they are.
They are, in a sense, grown to believe they are incapable of living a successful life and usually suffer from extreme low self esteem and possibly depression or other psychological disorders.
One solution for someone who is suffering from codependency and would like to learn how to live without it is to attend some type of group support meetings.
There, an individual can find freedom from the years of negative programming they experienced as a child, teenager or adult.
There are numerous groups around the country that can help: Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACoA); Al-Anon (for friends, wives and family members of alcoholics in and out of recovery); and Alateen (for children 12 to 20).
If you or someone you know is suffering from codependency, there are options available to you.
A quick look in the local phonebook or newspaper will set you on a path of change that will benefit you and everyone around you.