My Boyfriend Gets Aggressive When He"s High on Crack
Updated May 31, 2014.
Question:My boyfriend and I have taken drugs together for years, and he has never hurt me. But recently he has gotten into smoking crack and he gets really aggressive. A couple of times he has hit me over and over again, but I don't think he really knows what he is doing. I have thought about leaving him but I don't know how I would cope as I use so many drugs myself and don't think I can quit.
Answer:
Many women and men are going through the same struggle you are. Many crack users, as well as users of other drugs including alcohol, are physically abused by their partners.
Like all victims of abuse, you are not to blame for what is happening to you, but you are unlikely to get help unless you take action yourself to prevent further abuse. Only you can decide what to do in this situation, but you are strongly advised to seek professional help as soon as possible.
There is a known association between crack and violence, and numerous studies have shown the high rate of physical violence, including rape, that women who use crack experience. And although many types of violence that are associated with crack can actually be accounted for by the poverty and other social circumstances of people who use crack as compared to powder cocaine, this is not true of intimate partner violence. Crack appears to significantly increase the risk of violence between intimate partners.
Therefore, even though your partner was not previously violent towards you, and you don't think he is fully aware of what he is doing when he is high, you are very much at risk in this relationship. Many women are hospitalized and die each year as a result of violence from intoxicated partners, so it is important that you deal with this now.
If you are hoping to continue the relationship, it is important that you both get help. You both meet the criteria for substance use disorders, and should be eligible for substance use treatment services. You may feel you can't cope without drugs, but at the moment, drugs are making life impossible for you, and the substance use treatment system is a gateway to many sources of support.
Both you and your husband need help in this situation. While some people who are violent towards their partners can learn more effective ways to manage, if left unchecked, you may find yourself living in fear, eventually suffering from serious injuries or worse. Ideally, if your husband is willing to come to counseling, you should get couples counseling to address the underlying problems in your relationship, you should both get counseling for your drug use, and he should get additional help to deal with his violent behavior.
Bear in mind that ending a relationship with a violent man increases the risk of violence towards you, so try not to shame or anger him in the process, keep friends, family or other supportive people close by, and don't hesitate to call 911 if he shows up where you are staying after you have told him the relationship is over.
If your husband becomes violent again, you can call 911 and ask for the police and an ambulance if you need medical attention. The police can help to link you with services in your area for abused women. You can also find this help through your local community center or hospital.
Sources
Falck, R., Wang J., Carlson, R. and Siegal H. "The epidemiology of physical attack and rape among crack-using women." Violence and Victims, 16 (1), 79-89. 2001 .
Gilbert, L., El-Bassel, N., Chang, M., Wu, E., and Roy, L. "Substance use and partner violence among urban women seeking emergency care." Psychology of Addictive Behaviors, 26(2), 226-235. 2012.
Vaughn, M., Fu, Q., Perron, B., Bohnert, A. and Howard, M. "Is crack cocaine use associated with greater violence than powdered cocaine use? Results from a national sample." American Journal of Drug and Alcohol Abuse, 36:181–186. 2010..
Question:My boyfriend and I have taken drugs together for years, and he has never hurt me. But recently he has gotten into smoking crack and he gets really aggressive. A couple of times he has hit me over and over again, but I don't think he really knows what he is doing. I have thought about leaving him but I don't know how I would cope as I use so many drugs myself and don't think I can quit.
Answer:
You Are Not Alone
Many women and men are going through the same struggle you are. Many crack users, as well as users of other drugs including alcohol, are physically abused by their partners.
Like all victims of abuse, you are not to blame for what is happening to you, but you are unlikely to get help unless you take action yourself to prevent further abuse. Only you can decide what to do in this situation, but you are strongly advised to seek professional help as soon as possible.
The Connection Between Crack Use and Partner Violence
There is a known association between crack and violence, and numerous studies have shown the high rate of physical violence, including rape, that women who use crack experience. And although many types of violence that are associated with crack can actually be accounted for by the poverty and other social circumstances of people who use crack as compared to powder cocaine, this is not true of intimate partner violence. Crack appears to significantly increase the risk of violence between intimate partners.
Therefore, even though your partner was not previously violent towards you, and you don't think he is fully aware of what he is doing when he is high, you are very much at risk in this relationship. Many women are hospitalized and die each year as a result of violence from intoxicated partners, so it is important that you deal with this now.
You Do Need Help -- And So Does He
If you are hoping to continue the relationship, it is important that you both get help. You both meet the criteria for substance use disorders, and should be eligible for substance use treatment services. You may feel you can't cope without drugs, but at the moment, drugs are making life impossible for you, and the substance use treatment system is a gateway to many sources of support.
Both you and your husband need help in this situation. While some people who are violent towards their partners can learn more effective ways to manage, if left unchecked, you may find yourself living in fear, eventually suffering from serious injuries or worse. Ideally, if your husband is willing to come to counseling, you should get couples counseling to address the underlying problems in your relationship, you should both get counseling for your drug use, and he should get additional help to deal with his violent behavior.
Ending the Relationship Can Increase Your Risk
Bear in mind that ending a relationship with a violent man increases the risk of violence towards you, so try not to shame or anger him in the process, keep friends, family or other supportive people close by, and don't hesitate to call 911 if he shows up where you are staying after you have told him the relationship is over.
If your husband becomes violent again, you can call 911 and ask for the police and an ambulance if you need medical attention. The police can help to link you with services in your area for abused women. You can also find this help through your local community center or hospital.
Sources
Falck, R., Wang J., Carlson, R. and Siegal H. "The epidemiology of physical attack and rape among crack-using women." Violence and Victims, 16 (1), 79-89. 2001 .
Gilbert, L., El-Bassel, N., Chang, M., Wu, E., and Roy, L. "Substance use and partner violence among urban women seeking emergency care." Psychology of Addictive Behaviors, 26(2), 226-235. 2012.
Vaughn, M., Fu, Q., Perron, B., Bohnert, A. and Howard, M. "Is crack cocaine use associated with greater violence than powdered cocaine use? Results from a national sample." American Journal of Drug and Alcohol Abuse, 36:181–186. 2010..
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