The "Do Not Do" List
In brain science it is taught not to use the word "don't" because the mind does not accept the word, and instead whatever follows is exactly what you end up doing.
As an example if you say, "Don't forget" inevitably you will "forget".
I recommend, and strive to correct myself, to always say, "Remember to do XYZ".
Now here comes an exception I really like.
Life coach Marsha Lehman suggests you write a few "Don't Lists" each day and check them off each time you stop yourself from doing one of the items.
One list I like is the "Not to Think and Not to Articulate" list.
Make a list of all the negative thoughts you usually have - and unfortunately you and I generally think the same reoccurring negative thoughts (known as ruination in psychology) all the time.
Then as you go through your day and you notice one of those negative thoughts popping up, stop, check it off your list, and continue.
This technique is a version of cognitive therapy as I understand it.
You actively stop a thought by changing your activity from thinking to writing a check mark.
Once you have stopped the thought process and taken a physical action, you have a greater chance of shifting your focus away from that thought - at least for a while.
As hard as it is to believe a magazine article reported a story of a person who found a way to turn the concept of "The Bucket List" into a really dumb thing.
The concept of creating a "Bucket List" - a list of things you want to achieve or experience in your life before it is complete - first made the rounds supposedly when a college professor gave the assignment of creating such a list to his class.
I do not think the following is what the professor had in mind.
As reported in The Week, April 9, 2010, p.
6, "Crossing one off, after a Florida woman explained that she robbed a bank because bank robbery was on her "bucket list.
" "I think everyone should have a list of things they want to do before they expire," said Patricia Edwards, 51, from jail.
" I think Patricia should have created a "Do Not Do List" instead of a "Bucket List.
" In an attempt to keep you traveling in a more productive direction on your crooked road of success, I want to offer you another of Marsha Lehman's techniques.
This one is for improving the quality of your conversations.
If you find yourself saying something that you realize would not best serve you or the person you are speaking with, stop mid-sentence and say, "Oh, I started to say something that would not serve you, me, or any other person involved, so I'm not going to continue.
I have a better point of conversation that is uplifting for all.
" The shorthand version she offers is, "Oops, I'm retracting and revising.
" Goodness, I know for one, I wish I had used those statements a few times in the last few weeks - most notably when someone mentioned their views on healthcare and or the state of our political parties! That is why a life well lived is best viewed as a journey, not a destination.
That is why the road to life success is so crooked!
As an example if you say, "Don't forget" inevitably you will "forget".
I recommend, and strive to correct myself, to always say, "Remember to do XYZ".
Now here comes an exception I really like.
Life coach Marsha Lehman suggests you write a few "Don't Lists" each day and check them off each time you stop yourself from doing one of the items.
One list I like is the "Not to Think and Not to Articulate" list.
Make a list of all the negative thoughts you usually have - and unfortunately you and I generally think the same reoccurring negative thoughts (known as ruination in psychology) all the time.
Then as you go through your day and you notice one of those negative thoughts popping up, stop, check it off your list, and continue.
This technique is a version of cognitive therapy as I understand it.
You actively stop a thought by changing your activity from thinking to writing a check mark.
Once you have stopped the thought process and taken a physical action, you have a greater chance of shifting your focus away from that thought - at least for a while.
As hard as it is to believe a magazine article reported a story of a person who found a way to turn the concept of "The Bucket List" into a really dumb thing.
The concept of creating a "Bucket List" - a list of things you want to achieve or experience in your life before it is complete - first made the rounds supposedly when a college professor gave the assignment of creating such a list to his class.
I do not think the following is what the professor had in mind.
As reported in The Week, April 9, 2010, p.
6, "Crossing one off, after a Florida woman explained that she robbed a bank because bank robbery was on her "bucket list.
" "I think everyone should have a list of things they want to do before they expire," said Patricia Edwards, 51, from jail.
" I think Patricia should have created a "Do Not Do List" instead of a "Bucket List.
" In an attempt to keep you traveling in a more productive direction on your crooked road of success, I want to offer you another of Marsha Lehman's techniques.
This one is for improving the quality of your conversations.
If you find yourself saying something that you realize would not best serve you or the person you are speaking with, stop mid-sentence and say, "Oh, I started to say something that would not serve you, me, or any other person involved, so I'm not going to continue.
I have a better point of conversation that is uplifting for all.
" The shorthand version she offers is, "Oops, I'm retracting and revising.
" Goodness, I know for one, I wish I had used those statements a few times in the last few weeks - most notably when someone mentioned their views on healthcare and or the state of our political parties! That is why a life well lived is best viewed as a journey, not a destination.
That is why the road to life success is so crooked!
Source...