Chemistry and Attraction: beware of what's lurking behind some 'chemistry'
Why do we have chemistry for certain types and none for others? What determines who you get attracted to? And, is chemistry an essential relationship requirement? Should it not be?
First of all, what is chemistry (briefly)? There are several theories on that, probably all correct. Each time we feel 'chemistry' for someone it could be for one or more of the reasons below:
1 - One theory purports that we are biologically pre-programmed to be attracted to those with whom, biologically, we would create the healthiest children. It's all about biology and not compatibility! This takes place even after your childbearing years (so no matter how young or old you are). I would say that this can be the case in many instances, but it is absolutely NOT the case every time.
2 - Another theory sustains that we are attracted to certain facial and body 'symmetry' so for example a symmetrically 'harmonious' face with certain soft characteristics for a girl and other characteristics (conveying strength) for a man. There many debates on what we consider beautiful and symmetrical harmony seems to be a strong voice in these debates.
3 - Then of course you have psychological reasons why you are attracted to certain types. For example, you may associate certain features with a really good experience you had a long time ago (not necessarily a romantic experience) or an intense love projection experience. I find this part the most fascinating because it's really hard for us to determine what triggers the 'being in love' feeling yet we are often completely 'taken' by this and we fail to exercise our rational reasoning.
Of course, because none of the chemistry reasons above suggest any form of compatibility, it is always really important to get to know the person well before getting emotionally involved because, as I said, physical chemistry absolutely does not imply compatibility in any way. So, whilst the feeling of being in love is a very exciting one, we should learn to Fall in Love Wisely because investing our emotions before we get to know someone can lead to heartbreak and multiple relationship failures.
First of all, what is chemistry (briefly)? There are several theories on that, probably all correct. Each time we feel 'chemistry' for someone it could be for one or more of the reasons below:
1 - One theory purports that we are biologically pre-programmed to be attracted to those with whom, biologically, we would create the healthiest children. It's all about biology and not compatibility! This takes place even after your childbearing years (so no matter how young or old you are). I would say that this can be the case in many instances, but it is absolutely NOT the case every time.
2 - Another theory sustains that we are attracted to certain facial and body 'symmetry' so for example a symmetrically 'harmonious' face with certain soft characteristics for a girl and other characteristics (conveying strength) for a man. There many debates on what we consider beautiful and symmetrical harmony seems to be a strong voice in these debates.
3 - Then of course you have psychological reasons why you are attracted to certain types. For example, you may associate certain features with a really good experience you had a long time ago (not necessarily a romantic experience) or an intense love projection experience. I find this part the most fascinating because it's really hard for us to determine what triggers the 'being in love' feeling yet we are often completely 'taken' by this and we fail to exercise our rational reasoning.
Of course, because none of the chemistry reasons above suggest any form of compatibility, it is always really important to get to know the person well before getting emotionally involved because, as I said, physical chemistry absolutely does not imply compatibility in any way. So, whilst the feeling of being in love is a very exciting one, we should learn to Fall in Love Wisely because investing our emotions before we get to know someone can lead to heartbreak and multiple relationship failures.
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