It is never too early to begin planning for the upcoming school year for your children.
Mediation offers divorcing couples a unique opportunity to look forward and avoid areas of conflict by planning ahead.
And what is more essential than the activities and events that your children will be participating in during the school year? A couple's investment in their children's education is a primary focus of mediation and is an area of potential conflict for both parents and children.
There are so many academic, artistic, and athletic programs in today's schools and few would disagree that these programs offer children a chance to improve their lives and realize their potential.
Because a parent's role in these activities is essential, it is important that arrangements relating to that participation be examined and agreed upon well before the beginning of school.
The first step parents should make is to talk to their children and find out which extracurricular activities their children want to pursue.
Things like music and dance programs, clubs, sports, and after school programs all require transportation, expense, attendance from parents.
Once you know which programs your children are interested in, the next step is to contact your school and find out which staff members are leading these programs.
You can also find out what financial investment is required.
Gathering this information and making it part of your mediation sessions will help couples make plans for the school year.
Deciding who will pay for related expenses is an important issue and your mediator will help you designate responsibility for fees, equipment, clothing, transportation, and other costs.
Getting an itemized estimate of these costs from the school staff is vital.
Financing activities is an area that children are especially sensitive to because of the potential for conflict between parents.
But perhaps even more important is which parent or, in cases, both parents, will attend games, concerts, awards ceremonies, and special events.
It is understandable that children may want both parents to attend as this is what they may have been used to in the past but the realities of separation and divorce may not allow this.
Parents need to be honest with themselves and each other about how they feel about their spouse's attendance at these events.
The last thing anybody wants is conflict at a moment that is so special to every child.
A good mediator will be able to assess both parents ability to interact and guide them toward a favorable plan that will be best for the children.
And that is indeed what is most important here-what plan is best for your children and what plan will allow both parents to share in these opportunities for achievement for their children without conflict or crisis.
By planning ahead and making these plans part of your mediation agreement, the school year can be a smooth experience for both children and parents.
It just requires gathering information, honest examination, and a joint commitment to doing what is best for your children.