As you progress on your flirting journey you will have spotted someone you are attracted to and made initial non verbal contact through an eyebrow flash or a smile.
They have reciprocated with appropriate body language and you are now just starting your initial conversation.
You are making great progress but there are still some tricky hurdles to get over before you have achieved success.
Making Humour Work People often misinterpret entertaining someone with having to tell jokes.
I am sure we can all remember being in situations where all you can do is grin and bear it as the other person makes relentless jokes with barely a pause for air or responses.
If you waste those precious first three to five minutes with someone telling jokes instead of getting to know them then I am afraid this may be where your new relationship ends.
These first precious minutes are where you really want to find some common ground and identify if you have things in common.
Professional comedians spend hours perfecting their comic talents and lets face it not everyone is a born comic.
When a professional delivers a joke that sounds natural, spontaneous and hilarious, they have actually spent hours crafting that joke.
If you have applied this level of dedication into your joke telling preparation then it is probably best to leave the joke telling to the professionals.
You are often far better off telling stories about your real life experiences that may have funny or entertaining endings and which relate to the conversation you are having, this is the basics of building rapport.
Of course the odd joke, where it is relevant, is fine as long as you avoid being vulgar and of course profanities.
Avoid mentioning the ex! There is probably a very good reason you are no longer with the ex and the place to discuss that is most definitely not during your initial conversation.
If the person you are flirting with is the type of person who will emphasis with you about your breakup will most likely bore you to tears about their own painful experience.
This is neither the time or the place to be discussing the ex.
If the person you are flirting with insists on discussing their ex during these initial conversation then you should seriously consider avoiding them and using this as an early warning sign.
They are either not over them or they are the type of person who thrive on negative vibes.
If someone does try to inflict the story of the breakup with their ex on you, be careful of not falling into the trap of being a shoulder to cry on.
Once you slip into the role of best friend, it is very hard for that person to ever see you as anything more than a friend.
Diverting conversations from contentious topics Unless you are a vicar or a politician then discussing sex, religion or politics are usually a no, no.
You need to remember that the whole point of the initial conversation is to open up and find out if you have things in common.
You may be a well versed debater but showing off those skills debating contentious threads of conversation are more likely to beat them into submission than building rapport.
If this starts to happen then divert the conversation away from these subjects by saying something like "That's really interesting, but I never talk about sex/religion/politics before midnight.
".
Follow this up with something light hearted, possibly something you have seen on the news.
Initial conversation can be a magical journey as you discover new things about the person you are flirting with but you need to be careful navigating around the minefield of conversation etiquette.
By following these simple steps you are well on your way to start building rapport with each other and having a successful flirtation.