Important Information about Separation Anxiety

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For about the first three years of your child's life, you may have to deal with his fear of being away from you, commonly called separation anxiety.
Not all children are affected by this problem, but for some it can be a major issue, not only for the children, but parents and caregivers as well.
Separation anxiety usually manifests when your child is about one year of age.
If your child cries, screams, and hangs onto your leg, it can be difficult for you both, but keep in mind that there is nothing wrong with your child or with your parent/child relationship, this is just a normal process that some children go through, much like being afraid of the dark, or the monsters under the bed at night.
It helps if you take the time to learn as much as you can about separation anxiety, and some known ways to make leaving your child easier for all parties involved.
It can also be especially helpful if you learn and apply some strategies that other parents have found to be effective at making this transition time easier for everyone.
When your child is an infant, in most cases he or she will have no problem being left with a grandparent, sitter, or daycare provider.
In fact, you will probably suffer from separation anxiety more than your babe will at this stage.
Babies don't think about the fact that you have left them, and most likely will not as long as they are being cared for properly.
For you, however, it will likely be a much different case.
You will probably be upset at having to leave your little one, may want to call and check on him during the day, or may feel like crying yourself.
To make it easier for you, you may want to schedule time so that you can go visit your baby on your lunch hour, or call every so often to see how things are going.
It may take you some time, but you will soon adjust to having to leave your little one, and will learn to make the most of the time that you do have together.
After about six months, and possibly earlier in some babies, you will start to notice that they are okay as long as you are in the same room with them.
Some will cry even at home if you walk off to where they can't see you, and become fussy until you come back into their line of sight.
Babies at this age don't understand that you will be right back, and sometimes think that you are gone forever.
All they know is that you left, and they don't know if you will come back to them or not, so they become quite upset.
He may soon learn that if he cries and screams when you walk away, that you will come back to make him happy, and will start to use this strategy to achieve his goal, which is that you remain in his sight at all times.
The next phase that your child will go through is full blown separation anxiety, usually occurring sometime between eight months old, and their first birthday.
Your child will still want you in his sight at all times, but the crying and screaming jags may be louder, and last a lot longer.
It will only get worse if you have to leave the child with a sitter or alternate caregiver for a time period.
Your child may refuse comfort from other caregivers, opting instead to cry until you return.
This can be a very hard time for both children and parents, caregivers too.
For the children, they think that you have left them, and may never come back to get them.
They will be stuck with this new person from now on, and they want their mommy and daddy instead, so the only way they know how to handle this is to cry.
You hate to leave your baby when she is upset, but you have to work and take care of other responsibilities, so you have no choice.
Try to remind yourself, that this phase usually doesn't last very long, and that your child is okay, even though it may not seem that way.
It can be hard for caregivers, especially if your child refuses comfort from someone else.
They don't want the children left in their care to be unhappy, but do not know what to do to make things better for them.
Some children will suffer from separation anxiety until they are around three years old, while others never have any problems.
Sometimes, they only show separation issues when they are sick, when something in their life changes, such as caregivers or you move into a new home, or if there are problems at home.
We often think that our little ones don't pick up on the stress in our lives, but they are actually very good at sensing our emotions from an early age, and the tension does impact them as well as us.
In some cases, children may carry their anxiety issues all through their elementary school years.
At this point it more likely can be attributed to separation anxiety disorder, and you should make your child's pediatrician aware of the situation.
This is especially true if it seems to be causing problems in your child's everyday quality of life, so that he can suggest a treatment program that may help your child.
Try to follow whatever treatment regimen your doctor prescribes, and be more attentive to your child.
He will need your help to get though these trying times, whether a toddler, or teenager.
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