The Steps to Take to Save a Relationship
James works long hours and as a result Jess doesn't feel that he is there for her.
She spends all of her time meeting the needs of their children, so James feels that she doesn't have time for his needs.
Is it possible to save this relationship? And should it be saved? Here are the steps to save a relationship.
First, decide whether the relationship is worth saving or not.
While it is possible (with hard work) to save almost every relationship, both parties have to be on board in wanting to make it work.
Because if one partner of the couple has opted out and doesn't want to get back in, there is little (if anything) that can be done to save the relationship.
There are many people who stay in a relationship because it is convenient or remain in a marriage to spare the children.
That however is not enough.
Saving a relationship starts with an agreement by both parties that the relationship is worth saving.
Next, pinpoint the problem areas in the relationship.
One of the biggest problems in saving a relationship is that people see the symptoms (of the problem) as the problem itself.
As an example, many people think that an affair would be a problem that causes break ups.
In all honesty, the affair is merely a symptom of a deeper problem.
For instance, a lack of intimacy (and complete honesty) can lead to a spouse venturing outside of the relationship.
Most people will see the affair as the problem, but the underlying issue in the relationship was the lack of intimacy.
If you do not deal with the real issue (the lack of intimacy), you might keep another affair from starting (possibly through guilt), but another problem (pornography as an example) could appear because you haven't dealt with the real issue.
When you start to deal with the real issues, instead of the symptoms, the relationship can be saved.
Once the real problems have been identified, you can begin to share your opinions.
This means listening to your partner's complaints as well as verbalizing your own feelings.
A way to show your partner that you want to reconnect (even if your emotions are in turmoil) is to hold their hand when you are talking about your problems.
Always remember that your partner is not saying anything with the intention of hurting you, even though their words may seem painful and directed at you.
They are saying these things to improve the relationship.
After the problems have been identified the next step is to create an action plan to solve them.
The key word in this is action, so you need to take concrete steps on your action plan.
If you find that you are no longer spending the same amount (or quality) of time as you used to, maybe plan a date night every week.
Take turns in coming up with creative ways to spend an evening together.
Pick an evening and stick to it.
If communication (or lack of) is the problem, be determined to spend 10 to 20 minutes just talking to each other before you go to bed.
It is important for you to realize that saving a relationship is an ongoing process.
Along the way you may find yourself taking two steps forward, only to take one step back.
You can expect both laughter and tears as you attempt to mend the relationship.
Always be quick to apologize and slow to blame.
Do you feel that your relationship if worth saving? If so, this article describes how to save your relationship.
But this is just a start.
T Dub has a whole system designed to help you get back on track called "The Magic of Making Up"
She spends all of her time meeting the needs of their children, so James feels that she doesn't have time for his needs.
Is it possible to save this relationship? And should it be saved? Here are the steps to save a relationship.
First, decide whether the relationship is worth saving or not.
While it is possible (with hard work) to save almost every relationship, both parties have to be on board in wanting to make it work.
Because if one partner of the couple has opted out and doesn't want to get back in, there is little (if anything) that can be done to save the relationship.
There are many people who stay in a relationship because it is convenient or remain in a marriage to spare the children.
That however is not enough.
Saving a relationship starts with an agreement by both parties that the relationship is worth saving.
Next, pinpoint the problem areas in the relationship.
One of the biggest problems in saving a relationship is that people see the symptoms (of the problem) as the problem itself.
As an example, many people think that an affair would be a problem that causes break ups.
In all honesty, the affair is merely a symptom of a deeper problem.
For instance, a lack of intimacy (and complete honesty) can lead to a spouse venturing outside of the relationship.
Most people will see the affair as the problem, but the underlying issue in the relationship was the lack of intimacy.
If you do not deal with the real issue (the lack of intimacy), you might keep another affair from starting (possibly through guilt), but another problem (pornography as an example) could appear because you haven't dealt with the real issue.
When you start to deal with the real issues, instead of the symptoms, the relationship can be saved.
Once the real problems have been identified, you can begin to share your opinions.
This means listening to your partner's complaints as well as verbalizing your own feelings.
A way to show your partner that you want to reconnect (even if your emotions are in turmoil) is to hold their hand when you are talking about your problems.
Always remember that your partner is not saying anything with the intention of hurting you, even though their words may seem painful and directed at you.
They are saying these things to improve the relationship.
After the problems have been identified the next step is to create an action plan to solve them.
The key word in this is action, so you need to take concrete steps on your action plan.
If you find that you are no longer spending the same amount (or quality) of time as you used to, maybe plan a date night every week.
Take turns in coming up with creative ways to spend an evening together.
Pick an evening and stick to it.
If communication (or lack of) is the problem, be determined to spend 10 to 20 minutes just talking to each other before you go to bed.
It is important for you to realize that saving a relationship is an ongoing process.
Along the way you may find yourself taking two steps forward, only to take one step back.
You can expect both laughter and tears as you attempt to mend the relationship.
Always be quick to apologize and slow to blame.
Do you feel that your relationship if worth saving? If so, this article describes how to save your relationship.
But this is just a start.
T Dub has a whole system designed to help you get back on track called "The Magic of Making Up"
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